I will do my best to cheer up from today's tragic news with this video. RIP, Alan Rickman. You will be missed.
I'm with you on that. I've been irl-busy & offline so I just now woke up this morning to both the squee-worthy posting of this video.... and then a second later hearing the Alan Rickman news (total shock). Man [sigh].....between Rickman and Bowie from earlier ..... I think I'm gonna watch this vid a dozen times whilst drowning my sorrows in a pizza.
I usually pick out the five worst because 1.) I'm not as pissed off a lot as you guys and 2.) I don't watch as much movies as you guys either. I would've included the likes of Jupiter Ascending and In the Heart of the Sea, but I'm more indifferent towards them than just call them bad.
My top 5 picks are:
5. Burnt (More of a foodie presentation than an actual movie)
4. Insurgent (Very lame sequel)
3. Focus (A real mess of a thriller)
2. Fantastic Four (Really bad!)
And my #1 pick (takes deep breath) is Love the Coopers!
Why I picked Love the Coopers over Fantastic Four? It was like watching a dimly-lit yule log for two whole hours until your eyes bleed out of your sockets! My eyes hurt real bad!!!
As a Christian myself I completely agree that these (quote unquote) "Christian" movies that have been coming out lately are fucking absolutely abominably bad. I don't even understand what the people behind them are trying to do. I used to think that they were simply trying to convert as many people as possible at the expense of good storytelling and film-making. But you guys are 100% right - who the hell are they trying to convert anymore?! All they're doing is preaching to their insanely small choirs.
I mean, fuck, it isn't hard to make good Christian based movies ("The Passion of the Christ," the Chronicles of Narnia movies, "Luther" from 2003, Zeffirelli's "Jesus of Nazareth," "The Ten Commandments" with Charlton Heston, etc.). Anymore, I think it's nothing but a simple money grab. They seem to think that because there's been a noticeable shortage of Christian based films (which there were, in fact, before this... this.... whatever) that they can exploit the Christian movie-going audience for as much money as possible without bothering to deliver anything remotely resembling a good product.
I'm actually kind of scared for an upcoming one. My favorite movie of all time is "Ben Hur" from 1959. It's got wonderful acting, sets, music, one of the best action scenes in Hollywood history, and is a story about betrayal, revenge, political oppression and ultimately redemption. And it's being remade this year by the same people making these train-wrecks. *shudder*
When "Passion of the Christ" was in production, there was a great deal of buzz among the proletariat, eager to see an epic about Jesus. The Hollywood establishment did not try to get involved, rather they went out of their way to wail and kvetch about how terrible it was that this was being made, and even put pressure on theaters to not show it.
There is a great hunger for Christian entertainment, but the people most able to create quality movies prefer something else over the profit they would make catering to that hunger. This leaves an opening for terrible filmmakers who can get the lowest tier of those eager Christians to pay for crap like "War Room."
There have been some good big-budget Bible movies in recent years, but all Old Testament. Specifically the parts of the Old Testament taken from the Torah. Not sure what to make of that, But I think Marlon Brando and Ben Stein might know.
The Hollywood Establishment tried to put the stop on Passion of the Christ? What was Mel Gibson then?
I don't know about the Hollywood establishment, but there definitely was an attempt by a large section of the media to destroy it (the constant screaming about it being anti-Semitic comes most to my mind - even though it was easily more anti-Roman than anti-Jew). I remember Bill O'Reilly being about the only member of the media defending the film. And it's really bad when I have to turn to Bill fucking O'Reilly (of all people!) for moral support!
You're absolutely right that there is a great hunger in Christian circles for Christian based movies. The problem is that most people in the industry with the ability to make good, big-budgeted Christian based films instead want to put out crap like "Noah" with Russell Crowe and Emma Watson (a movie that so completely misses the point of the Bible story that it's laughable and takes dramatic license WAY too far - I never knew Methuselah was a Jedi!) or "Exodus: Gods and Kings" (I don't even know what they were trying to do with that one - but being directed by Ridley Scott, who hasn't made a good movie in fifteen years, didn't help).
When garbage like "God's Not Dead" and "War Room" are all Christian audiences are given then, yeah, they will make some money. Give a starving man crap like week-old donuts and rotting meat and he'll still eat it. But, if Hollywood would just make a truly quality Christian film it would make an absolute killing at the box office. I mean, shit, "The Passion of the Christ," even with the full-on media blitz against it still made over $370,000,000 and was, at one point, in the top ten U.S. domestic grossers of all time.
The point is that "Noah" is not a Christian story. It's a story from the Torah, and the movie is made by the same man who made "Pi," a movie that gets into Kabbalc Mysticism.
And "Passion of the Christ" was antisemetic, for as Joe Sobran noted, antisemetic does not refer to something that hates Jews, but rather to something that Jews hate. This is how Ron Paul, a man inspired by Ayn Rand and mentored by Muarry Rothbard, can be called an antisemite. Because he is hated by Jews.
Hollywood really is like the entertainment company at the beginning of Kevin Smith's "Dogma," only it's Judaism and not Paganism that guides them.
The thing about Old Fashioned is that it's take on morality and romance fits the Taliban more than Christianity.
I don't go out of the way to see bad movies, So my worst was Jupiter Ascending which sort of restored my faith in the mega budget bomb. It's easy to make rubbish on a low budget, but to be that incomprehensible and that laughable on that scale is an achievement.
In these Best Of/Worst Of lists, am I the only one thinking it would be cool to have links to the Midnight Screenings for that movie within the countdown video? They could briefly appear on screen for the last ten seconds or so of discussing that movie before you guys move on to the next one. You could even set the YouTube annotations to 'off' by default as some people find that stuff annoying (mainly because certain YouTubers abuse the annotation feature with endless links to lame unrelated shit). It's not like it's hard to do a search for the movie, but just an idea.
Will there be an uncut version of the Brian & Sarah episode?
Sweet, an unrated director's cut. Can't wait.
I'd also like this. If I'm willing to watch people talk shit about movies for one and a half hour, why wouldn't I be up for 2 and a half?
Yuppers, definitely with ya Dave-o on Fantastic 4; I've been a comic book reader since my mother introduced them to me when I was 10 (Thanks Mom! <3) .....we're talking since 1979 - Oh My!
.... as soon as I heard the director mention Cronenberg, I was "Oh Noooo..... I'm out".
So it then became the first Super Hero movie I've ever actively chosen to skip. I sincerely hope Marvel gets their shot at doing F4 like they deserve.
Hell must be freezing over because I'm going to agree with Dave on the Chiklis Thing. Yeah his face my not have been tough looking but the new, all-cgi thing looks like Clayface with a goofy face. That being said, I am not a fan of the FF. I personally think they're lame & the only thing remotely cool about them is their villain, Dr. Doom. He, much like the Shredder, is too awesome looking to fight that dopey group. He should be fighting Iron Man, then he'd be in better movies. I'm also not a big fan of Superman, I find him too boring & I like ass kickers not big boring boy scouts (Batman,Daredevil, Punisher, Judge Dredd...) & Superman 1- Returns didn't help. Then MoS, (or "Kal-El" as I think it should've been called because he's not Superman yet. Hell, he's not even Clark Kent yet), does things differently while keeping the basics of his origin intact. Yes, like many comic films before them, they felt the need to add complex story/plot points entangled within the origin instead of keeping it simple. The codex dna bull sh*t, that f'n tornado scene, & much collateral damage. I watched it again recently & I do think it could've been toned down a bit, I also still think killing Zod wouldn't have been sooooo bad if Zod had been allowed to (visibly) bump off a few humans, thus pushing Kal even further to his breaking point. As it is, Zod only threatens to kill all of Kal's precious humans, we don't SEE him killing anyone, only threatening to kill that family. Maybe he should've killed the family a split second before Kal could get there. A harsh lesson to learn for the future, no matter how fast or powerful , you can't save everyone. Eh, that's MY view.
WHATEVER! DEADPOOL COMES OUT IN 4 WEEKS!!!! =D
The 'codex dna' thing is an actual thing. That's how cyborg superman came to be after the 'Death of Superman' in the 'Reign of the Supermen'. I totally agree with you by the way. I think the only superman story I dig right now is the 'American Alien' series penned by Max Landis.
Wow,. I bring up Man of Steel, explain my reasons for defending said film, & someone responds WITHOUT being snide? It seems we are growing as commenters. . . or finally moving on with our lives. Thanks, Inquisitor!
I never read that part of Death of Superman, I only have the common trade paperback Doomsday trashing the city (speaking of which, looks like Metropolis is in for another round of collateral damage in BvS. . . I can't wait!). So forgive me, Quiz, I just figured it was something Goyer or Lord Nolan pulled out of their asses.
Most of the snide remarks come from MoS fans anytime somebody says they don't like the movie. Just look at the comment section on YouTube.
Yes, those fans seem to have insecurities. I, myself, used to be like them, but somewhere along the line I stopped caring enough to argue. I like it. Dave, Brad & many others don't? Eh, whatever. My life isn't dictated by what critics say. If it was ,then I also would consider The Dark Knight the greatest comic book movie ever, but I don't. It's not bad, but nothing special. Personally, I enjoy Rises more. Yeah, it may not be as PERFECT as it's predecessor, but it's more fun & Tom Hardy, silly voice aside, is awesome as what Nolan passes off as "Bane". What's that you say? "I'm an idiot with zero taste in movies!"? So be it. =P
No snide remarks from me... I've not seen Man of Steel. Therefore I have no objective opinion. I know enough about the comics to know that Superman, outside of the Justice League, is not for me. Hence why I know about the whole 'Birthing Matrix' thing, since the death of superman was kind of a big deal cross over with the mid 90s Justice League. That's also why I'm actually going to see Batman vs. Superman. I may be in the minority, but I find that contempt before investigation is a pretty shitty way to live.
I wholeheartedly agree, dude.
I'd like to be more positive but the last trailer for BvS seems to tell the whole story. But who knows? Maybe they'll surprise me by NOT having Doomsday &, in a brilliant twist, reveal that Jesse Eisenberg is actually weasely spokesman for the real Lex Luthor: Bryan Cranston. THAT would be great! =D
As for Zombie movies, I've been reading 'Zombie Movies: the ultimate guide' lately, so now there's a bunch of god-awful ones I'm hoping the Snob will rant about in the next coming years, Hee Hee.
My entries for future episodes:
Sugar Hill - Blaxploitation with zombies, featuring a zombie masseuse.
Teenage Zombies - a Zombie Gorilla! ....and finally,
Shanks - has something in common with Sugar Hill; two words: ZOMBIE CHICKENS!
Please O Please O Please :)))
Just out of curiosity how many of the movies in that book concern zombies of the Haitian folklore variety? Sugar Hill, the wonderfully awful Zombie Nightmare and White Zombie are the only ones I can think of offhand.
I'll take a look-see :) Might be a little time taken though.... since there's 400+ entries & I'm only 2/3 in ;)
Oh... and how specific do you want it to Haitian Voudon, since there's a lot of cases where everything else fits, but for some half-ass reason they set it in Jamaica, the Bahamas, or even Hawaii (lol). Is it just anything that used the old-school, African folk-magic, no SF/disease/Romero/demons varieties?
(As an aside, best 'take' on the Voudon ones = for me, definitely "The Serpent & the Rainbow")
The best thing about zombies is La-bibbaba dibba dum. Hate the walking dead love the Governor Broadway tune.
David Winter, the dude who directed, Dancin' It's On directed The Last Horror Movie 1982 and was one of the producers of Killer Workout.
Can I just say, the absolute best part of this was seeing the reactions on Dave's face when Brad is describing "Dancin' It's On". For all the absolute trash that came out last year, hearing any description of that insane mess is just glorious.
I so, so want that film to be released on Rifftrax. Considering how good the Space Mutiny episode of MST3K is...I don't think it would take much convincing.
The big problem with all these Christian movies is they ignore the truth. The one true religion was practiced by the people of Easter Island until they were taken aloft to Gallalatithesium, during something a bit like the rapture, but much more awesomer, I know this for a fact, because it was revealed to me in a dream by the Lord himself and dream revelations don't lie But try to get Hollywood to make films about it and they close ranks. It's a conspiracy wrapped in a tissue of false flags. that will engulf the world in a tsunami of misinformation and over the maelstrom like the sword of Damocles.
That should read "hang over the maelstrom like the sword of Damocles",
I was almost certain The Gallows was going to be on the list when Brad first reviewed it, now it seems tame compared to some of the shit that came out last year.
I like how Brad found a film so bad all of his friends agree it's by far the worst film of the year, and then managed some how to see something even worse...
IMDB clearly states that "Old Fashioned" is a 2014 September release, not 2015, Brad. That's a pretty big screw-up to include it in 2015's listings. It was released on DVD/Blu-Ray in 2015, but original first theatrical screenings were done in 2014. If this movie was running in your theaters during 2015, a whole year after it's original theatrical run, then there's something wrong with your local theater programs.
Also, Brad, since you're living in Chicago part of Illinois...I have a very good "Brad Tries" suggestion for one of your further episodes for that show: go to western part of Chicago's suburbs (Warrenwille) and buy Two Brothers' Northwind Russian Imperial Stout beer from their micro-brewery. It's supposed to be INSANELY faithful stout beer sheer brewing methodology and quality of the end product-wise, absolutely legit when it comes down to "doing 100% classical Russian Imperial stout". And "Northwind" in particular is a seasonal brew that's being produced and sold only during winter, so I highly suggest you do it sometime soon. Get one or two bottles of that stout and review it on your "Brad Tries" show, man. Anyway, that's just a suggestion, since you're already living pretty close to Two Brothers' brewery anyway and there really shouldn't be any problems of getting that.
No, it's official release is February 2015. It showed in a tiny number of film festivals in 2014, but those are never considered official releases. You can say that about a number of movies that get released, many of them have festival screenings before a release date. Many of them, like Old Fashioned, screen in festivals so they can find a distributor.
End of year lists are based on official release dates, not pre-release screenings. Old Fashioned was released to the public February 6th, 2015. Look at imdb, and watch any interview with the director promoting the film.
I work just north of Warrenville in West Chicago, Brad lives in Springfield, way south in the state dude.
I still would like you to do the top 10 most fun movies of the year list, you kept hinting at doing one.
Yup....these particular religious movies AREN'T Mainstream Christian as we've known them; they're more accurately labeled as Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Literalist, or even Dominionist in their tenor and preachings. Also you'll oftentimes find quite a lot of Southern Baptists go for these types of films - true believers who just want to 'hear the message' or like you said: 'preaching to the choir'. Sad really.....
My own personal best list:
Video with honorable mentions:
10. The Big Short
9. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
8. The Revenant
6. Mad Max: Fury Road
5. Kingsmen: The Secret Service
2. The Martian
1. Ex Machina
And the worst:
Video with dishonorable mentions:
10. The Perfect Guy
9. The Gallows
8. Jem and the Holograms
6. Hot Pursuit
5. Jupiter: Ascending
3. 50 Shades of Grey
Suffice to say I don't see films which are explicitly made by religious organizations -- including "Happy Madison" in that :) -- so that excludes a lot of the shit stuff you guys see. Suffice to say I'm with Dave -- "Unfriended" is more like "Unwatchable". AND IT'S GETTING A BLOODY SEQUEL!!
A couple fun facts about War Room.
The directors were trying to make a movie that would be like Fireproof--shown over and over at church gatherings for audiences to learn from. This is because their last film, Courageous--while not poorly-received--just was not popular because noone wanted to see a family go through the tragedy of losing a child over and over. So, yes, they just made a worse Fireproof. Instead of being about someone attempting to save his marriage by changing himself, it's someone waiting around for change. So Fireproof without the only redeemable thing about Fireproof outside unintentional comedy.
Why were the directors focusing on an old woman making military comparisons to her prayer life? Well, they don't know either. Really. It's something they felt God had laid on their heart but didn't know what to do with it. So take that as you will. It might help explain the meandering final part as "We have no idea what we're doing."
These two facts were told to me by one of the brothers who was speaking to a group I was in. Oh, and everyone else in the group was freaking out like they were being talked to by Spielberg. Let that sink in.
And yes, this movie is very popular with its target audience. Mostly because the horrible ideas are veiled under buzzwords that get interpreted different ways, and the core that just praying to God will resolve issues doesn't seem bad if you come at it with the preexisting worldview that God WILL protect and sort things out. Also, the average fundamental baptist is not a cinephile; so that helps.
I am really grateful for your post