Reviews: "Life Itself," "Rampage: Capital Punishment," "Cabin Fever: Patient Zero" and "Mercenaries"8/23/2014
First up, Brad checks out the Roger Ebert documentary "Life Itself," plus Uwe Boll's "Rampage: Capital Punishment," the sequel to his film "Rampage."
Then he sees the 3rd Cabin Fever film "Cabin Fever: Patient Zero," as well as The Asylum's Expendables mockbuster "Mercenaries" starring Zoe Bell, Cynthia Rothrock, Vivica A. Fox, and more.
111 Comments
Batman
8/22/2014 11:44:30 pm
Why are they still making Cabin Fever? First cabin fever was bad, second one was even worst, both of them bombed hard, what did they expect from the third one?
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AlsoAngryJake
8/23/2014 05:54:36 am
Because enough idiots(no offense) supported it thus we got the dvd sequel. Then because that one apparently was so enticing people saw it we now have this one. Meanwhile Dredd, best movie of 2012 in my opinion, gets nothing. I sure hope they make another someday because I'm tired of bitching("you & us both, buddy").
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An asshole
8/22/2014 11:55:46 pm
Oh shit! Eli Roth has a new movie coming out called The Green Inferno, and he said in an interview that he shot like a Terrence Malick movie! Can't wait for that review!
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Nephilim
8/26/2014 04:05:25 am
I've seen the trailer for that.. First thing that came to mind was Cannibal Holocaust.. Hell they even call the Amazon 'The Green Inferno' in Cannibal Holocaust.
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mrlightningbolt896
8/23/2014 12:07:43 am
Hostel is a guilty pleasure, I hope the next Eli Roth movie is just as much fun and not another Cabin Fever. of course I'm not saying Hostel is a good movie, it's fucking atrocious. but after seeing Cabin Fever I expected to be pissed during the whole movie, and insted I was really entertained
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Jubbs
8/23/2014 11:17:36 pm
"Cabin Fever" was okay for the first two acts, but it falls apart in the last thirty minutes as badly as any movie I've ever seen, and becomes incredibly predictable. Seriously, this is a horror film about a flesh-eating virus that ends with the Easter Bunny and insane karate-fighting children. Another thing is how blatantly it rips off other movies, particularly the ending of "Night of the Living Dead." I would love to hear Brad's thoughts on the film and why he hated it so much. "Hostel" was just deep-fried crap on a stick, and came off like a made-for-TV movie with gore.
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Lady Analicia
8/23/2014 12:56:56 am
I feel like Uwe Boll wanted to make his own V for Vendetta... That was about an identifiable, likable character who is also a murderer. Though I feel he may have missed the point of that book/movie...
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Michael
8/23/2014 02:29:06 am
V for Vendetta wasn't about killing people and thinking your making a difference. V (the character) was a political idealist who tried to rally up supporters of his beliefs non-violently Also, the movie, to me anyway, didn't glorify terrorism. To me it showed that when your government oppresses you, you take action. The people in V where basically living under a fascist dictatorship. In Rampage, Uwe Boll is straight up telling you to kill people,innocent people living under a democracy mind you, over stupid conspiracy theory's. So no, this movie is nothing like V for Vendetta.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:04:17 pm
Okay, couple things. First, V was yes a political idealist, but that wasn't his motivation in the movie. That was an end to a means. He was looking for revenge on the fascist regime that experimented on him and killed and imprisoned so many. Second, it absolutely glorified terrorism. The only difference is again going back to the fascist regime; you didn't feel too bad about seeing the destruction V left in his wake. (I still remember seeing the beginning of the movie and not sure if V was going to be the villain or hero of the story after he blows up a building)
Jeg Simmons
8/26/2014 03:29:56 am
the thing though, is that V for Vendetta is not "anti rich" or even anti social class. The comic is about Anarchy or very limited government.
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Brad2
8/23/2014 01:17:28 am
Life Itself was good and I am glad I saw it. I wish it would have had more about his inner thoughts and experiences with people. I think Herzog fixated to much on his final days.
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The letter E
8/23/2014 02:02:53 am
Here's something I never thought would happen: Brad ranting about an Uwe Boll (of all directors) movie triggered an epiphany. Weird. Somebody spread some karma points here. God knows Uwe Boll needs them and Brad deserves them.
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The letter E
8/23/2014 02:16:40 am
And before I forget it: Saw Rampage - CP. It SUCKED. (So redact those points for Uwe Boll.) Plus, somebody make him stop making movies. Please.
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Xander
8/23/2014 02:04:14 am
Brad puts down sierra mist.
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Xander
8/23/2014 02:23:18 am
*Mountain Dew, not Serra mist
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crazycaballo
8/23/2014 02:04:22 am
My cat Iggy loves watching Chloe or Lloyd when they walk across the screen he stares so intently at them ahaha I also love when his little ears wiggle if he hears a meow. Cat's are great. Love the videos!! Can't wait for someone to see that horrible football movie where the town goes to hell.
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8/23/2014 02:57:20 am
I really wanted to hear Brad's thoughts on the movie Contracted that came out last year and has spent the last few months circling the drain on netflix instant. Maybe he'll get to it eventually. Oh well.
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Drew
8/23/2014 03:36:08 am
Wow Brad, watching your review for Rampage: Capital Punishment, it almost felt like you found a film to rival your experience with watching A Serbian Film.
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Brent Lonkey
8/23/2014 03:42:12 am
i think brad momentarily got possessed by a sassy ghost after he got done reviewing cabin fever and saw he only had a minute of footage left.
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CyborgPrince
8/23/2014 10:29:02 am
Perhaps it was the spirit of Fat Grandma.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:09:51 pm
Tha' mean ole' shinima shnob got the proverbial spectral slap across the mouth.
pablo
8/23/2014 04:02:50 am
Uwe Balls movie is for white anarquist that say they want to fix the world but really just want an excuse to live their fantasys about killing some rich guys bc they are too rich and poor guys bc they are too lazy
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:16:19 pm
As a white anarchist I think that doesn't hold up too much. Anarchism doesn't necessarily promote violence or a bloody regime change. Social Anarchism essentially is a far left version of non-governmental involvement.
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Jeg Simmons
8/26/2014 03:43:22 am
well anarchy is also a spectrum, their is capitalist anarchy, classic anarchy (which is close to marxism), theocratic anarchy, or plain old vanilla "burn everything" anarchy.
pablo
9/1/2014 01:22:59 am
yeah. i like JegSimmons answer. i have nothing against classic anarquists. but these new "anarchocapitalist" simply suck. they want a sistem that (in their minds) allows them to be on top. they are also really shitti social darwinist.
HazyEight
1/23/2015 01:50:05 pm
Not to mention, anarcho-pacifism's a thing. Also, some anarcho-capitalists have actually brought up the idea of having police, etc. privatized to prevent crime w/o govt. I'm not one for stereotyping groups because I feel like it can lead to an "us vs. them" mentality. But if I had to stereotype anarchists, I'd stereotype them more as idealists rather than violent delinquents.
Sho
8/23/2014 04:36:29 am
And here I expected to get no videos this weekend from you. Your work ethic remains as strong as ever.
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Skorpinox
8/23/2014 05:19:07 am
I'm not trying to defend the character's opinions as I haven't seen Rampage: Capital Punishment. Being a mass murderer, or any other unsavory character, doesn't necessarily invalidate a person's opinions. It does make it seem very odd (read stupid) that the character is pro gun control and yet goes around shooting people. Of course, knowing Uwe Boll, the opinions are probably poorly thought out and don't really need any consideration.
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Danny
8/23/2014 10:57:45 am
Their opinions might be true, but that doesn't mean I'm going to listen to them saying it. I'm not going to give any consideration to the opinions of a guy who goes out and shoots up a grocery store, no matter how much I happen to agree or disagree with his views.
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Skorpinox
8/23/2014 06:58:47 pm
All I'm really saying is that it is a logical fallacy, specifically ad hominem, to dismiss a person's argument this way. Just because he's a mass murderer doesn't invalidate his arguments. Though, considering he is a mass murderer, there is a question to his sanity and I sincerely doubt that his arguments were all that logical in the first place. I just want to reiterate, I don't support his arguments as I don't specifically know what they are or how they were presented (haven't seen and don't plan on seeing the film).
John K
8/24/2014 07:10:19 am
This is exactly why the ad hominem attack is not always a logical fallacy. The goal of the ad hominem attack is to show there is something wrong with the speaker making him unqualified to be making statements about the subject he is talking about, therefore destroying his argument. Most times ad hominem attacks boil down to irrelevant insults, however.
Skorpinox
8/24/2014 12:17:22 pm
Hopefully, this will go below my initial reply to Danny. Anyways, ad hominem is always a logical fallacy. The argument should be able to stand or fall on its own regardless of the arguer's character. Now, his character may feed into whether or not you actually take heed of his statements. For example, it would not be unreasonable to be skeptical of a crazy person's claims as they likely lack a (full) basis in reality. Also, you won't likely get a cogent discussion out of it and, in certain cases, you're risking your safety should you engage them (e.g. they're a mass murderer).
John K
8/24/2014 05:20:40 pm
But the criticisms of the arguer in this case are relevant to the argument of his stance in this case. Another way of saying "Well, you're a mass murderer." would be to say:
Skorpinox
8/25/2014 11:41:10 am
If he's being a hypocrite (e.g. using violence when advocating nonviolence), that doesn't invalidate his argument. If he believes his actions fulfill his goal, you argue against that. For example, if he believes violence promotes peace, then you can argue that violence just tends to lead to more violence and not peace. A person's character or actions shouldn't affect their argument. It may reasonably affect whether you should pay them any heed or should be skeptical of their motives. At least as it pertains to the argument(s) at hand. Though in certain cases you could point to their actions as a reason against their stance. For example, the person goes on a shooting spree and argues against gun control. In that case, you could point to their actions as good reason for gun control.
Jeg Simmons
8/26/2014 03:36:47 am
Pro gun arguments, oddly enough, actually make a point that a more armed society can discourage or reduce the damage done by people like the dude in rampage.
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Bracklin
8/23/2014 05:26:33 am
If you enjoy Corey Coleman, you should probably change your links page. You have a link to Spill.com, but since Spill no longer exists, it just goes to Hollywood.com. As far as I know the main hub for his reviews is his Soundcloud page. kcoolman.
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Jordan
8/23/2014 07:28:49 am
He's got his new site up. Doubletoasted.com.
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John Doe
8/23/2014 05:31:30 am
Governments will always do fucked up thing. When is conspiracy theories gonna understand that? Even if "the evil Reptilian/Zionist/Fascist/Communist/Satanic/Conservative/Liberal/Atheistic/Islamic/Christian US government" is gonna go away do you really think that the world will be in a eternal peace?
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Hand of Onan
8/24/2014 06:55:01 am
But is Chevy Chase really Jim Morrison? That's what I want to know.
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BarryTheMasterOfSandwich
8/23/2014 05:32:47 am
Hey, Brad. The other movie that you saw. What it The Angry Video Game Nerd Movie?
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Clement
8/23/2014 05:58:49 am
"Life's too goddamn short."
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Why My Buddy?
8/23/2014 06:32:23 am
Why do you call him "My buddy"? That's so confusing.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:25:56 pm
I think the horse has been smeared into a thin red paste by now.
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Skibz
8/23/2014 08:01:55 am
I've been an Uwe Boll apologist since I first saw 'Postal'; I think he's grown as a filmmaker and has made a lot of decent and well-made exploitation films in addition to a lot of awful crap. I can't defend 'Rampage 2' because I haven't seen it yet. However, it's been a common thread with most of Uwe's films for the last few years to *strongly* mirror his own political beliefs, which, as Brad knows, can sometimes side on the extreme.
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DonaldTripper
8/23/2014 09:15:31 am
I honestly wouldn't mind seeing Brad actually review Hemlock Grove season two. It's even more of a trainwreck
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John K
8/24/2014 07:17:28 am
I would rather Brad not give that show any more attention. No one should have to spend time giving Hemlock Grove serious thought.
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CommanderZx2
8/23/2014 09:52:50 am
Isn't that sad Uwe Boll has done far better special effects than Expendables 3, a movie which probably has a budget 20x what Boll had.
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Destro9
8/23/2014 09:55:17 am
There already has been an all female Expendables TV movie...it was released in 2000 and starred Robin Givens...and no on else you've heard of.
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Alex
8/23/2014 10:24:43 am
I think Ebert's a little overrated but I think that of almost all critics. He was definitely the most even-handed of all the mainstream critics and made some interesting points and Beyond The Valley of the Dolls was fun. But my inner fanboy comes out when he went on that tirade with Siskel about the slasher films and suggesting I Spit on Your Grave would make men want to rape women. And his horrible review of Fulci's The Beyond where he writes off Fulci's other great films (including Don't Torture a Duckling) without ever having seen them.
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Charlie
8/23/2014 10:42:22 am
I think I watched this film on tv, I'm not sure, did I forget it straight away after watching I!
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RandyPan
8/23/2014 10:47:30 am
Okay, I just looked up Ebert's review of my favorite movie, A Clockwork Orange, and he hated that one, too.
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RandyPan
8/23/2014 12:24:28 pm
The tagline for "Mercenaries" should be "Are they bad enough dudettes to save the President's daughter?"
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:31:33 pm
Ha! I was thinking the same thing.
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Muthsarah
8/23/2014 03:06:45 pm
Oh Bradakan. Do not tarry long. We simply MUST hear your thoughts on "A Dame to Kill For". For what it's worth, we enjoyed it. 'Twasn't as good as the first, but 'twas nonetheless a mightily enjoyable experience at the local cinema-theatre.
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Riley
8/23/2014 03:53:25 pm
Even my dog started barking because of the one outside lol.
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LloydFan
8/23/2014 04:29:50 pm
Sweet, I was just saying Cynthia Rothrock should be in an Expendables movie, except young people probably don't know who she is.
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Morhek
8/23/2014 04:39:57 pm
Rampage 2 feels like a movie made precisely for the guys who shot up Columbine, or that ilk - angry white middle class men who resent the rich for hoarding the wealth and despise the poor for being too lazy, who think society has rejected them because they "see through the bullshit" and want some payback on the philistines who don't recognise their genius. And that's disgusting. These people are exactly not the sort of people anyone should make anything for. I'm with Brad - I couldn't care less what your political beliefs are or how earnest you are about them, but once you pick up a gun or a bomb and murder people who disagree with you, who get in your way, or just because they're there and you can, you lose the right to be called anything other than a murderer and a terrorist and I no longer respect anything you have to say.
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TrutherPunk
8/23/2014 06:22:23 pm
Just wanted to get this off my chest. I just got done watching your vlog on the 4 movies he saw and I gotta say, the Uwe Boll movie Rampage: Capital punishment from the sound of it and the trailer alone insulted me. Never has there been a poorer portrayal to attempt at misrepresenting what a truther/activist really is about. I get so annoyed by the type of posers who go on advocating shit like violence, extremism, forcing opinion's down other people's throats. Being a conspiracy "theorist"/activist/truther means the representation of equality, advocating peaceful protesting, not using force, using common sense, listening, keeping an open mind, able to accept other's beliefs, ect. Yet there are these posers who will go out of their way to put a bad name on people who are just trying to help other people willing to learn and want to know about new things and be aware of things that could potentially harm them so that they can be given the CHOICE of defending themselves and loved ones without the use of force or violence as the answer. Fuck this movie seriously. Thanks for your honest review Brad keep it up.
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John K
8/24/2014 07:28:53 am
Except, real-life terrorists DO often subscribe to fringe ideologies and conspiracy theories. So that in this movie this man who is a psychopathic mass murder and domestic terrorist has views typical of a conspiracy theorist is accurate. The fact that Uwe Boll is using this character to push his political agenda is what is messed up about it.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 09:19:29 pm
There is also perversion and extremes of commonly held political ideology. Like the real life domestic terrorists PETA and ALF.
Hand of Onan.
8/23/2014 08:04:35 pm
dUwe Boll has made this film twice the last time it was called Assault On Wall Street. I suspect they're aimed at The Fight Club fan demographic. Coz lets be honest Fight Club is a confused amalgam of bad politics. stupid warrior philosophy and man of action homoeroticism. To the point that it is basically a Uwe Boll type conspiracy movie. So maybe people who take Fight Club seriously will dig Rampage: Capital Punishment..
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:46:21 pm
I thought Fight Club was a fun movie. Your description of 'The Fight Club fan demographic' doesn't even come close to describing me. I thought the movie had an extremely fresh and interesting take on indoctrination and cult mentality. There are no two ways about it when you look at that film, it's about a cult, led by a mentally deranged sociopath. Also, going back to Brad's claim about the invalidation of the political agenda when killing or violence is used to coerce the desired response, Fight Club is a movie where the major protagonist is a bad guy, who happens to win with a vague at best speculation as to the aftermath of the destruction left in his wake. I hardly think it is a fair comparison to lump Fight Club which is a fictional portrayal of a madman’s leading of a cult, to Rampage political mouthpiece of schlocky shit.
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Hand of Onan
8/25/2014 02:02:15 am
Fight Club is a an anarcho satire about the loss of male identity that ends with the hero watching the destruction of capitalism with his girl at his side. It is the same dumb combination of conspiracy theorist tin foil hat politics and machismo as Rampage2. It's jus less violent and better made. But I was being flippant coz I think Fight Club is a stupid film full of stupid ideas and when I was in bands too many tattooed men in black combat trousers raved about it.
Inquisitor
8/25/2014 03:04:29 am
I think you're reading into that movie a little too much. It's a comedy/action movie with some plot holes that was cleverly shot. I for one never found that that movie was about the loss of the male identity. If there was any loss of identity is was Edward Norton's own way he identify's himself.
Hand of Onan
8/25/2014 04:48:31 am
Dude.
Riga
8/23/2014 10:00:12 pm
"Brad Reviews Life Itself" - well, this should be interesting. is brad having an existential crisis?
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astrakhan
8/23/2014 10:18:49 pm
Is it weird that I'd actually pay to see a movie about Hitler extolling the benefits of vegetarianism? It sounds just crazy enough to work.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:48:24 pm
As a nazi-sploitation farce, I'd be all over that too.
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Philip
8/24/2014 06:27:47 am
Uwe getting hate on for this movie is not surprising. Pushing a messages from the mouth of a mass serial killer makes no sense whatsoever.
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LloydFan
8/24/2014 06:29:03 am
Serial rapist who fucks his liberal beliefs into people...
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Mark
8/24/2014 06:50:07 am
Hopefully Uwe Boll won't see this review or you've just given him an idea for a sequel: "Rampage 3: The Serial Rapist."
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Skibz
8/24/2014 02:17:39 pm
Actually, Uwe has already said that he plans on making a 'Rampage 3'.
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John K
8/24/2014 07:30:43 am
Rampage sounds like it has the exact same problem as God Bless America.
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Blind in Rikers
8/24/2014 11:32:27 am
In God Bless America, though you're supposed to see the lead as sympathetic initially, the film charts a descent that is supposed to complicate the viewers' initial sympathy with him. We're supposed to question the fact that we get an initial thrill from his actions. I have seen Rampage II, but I don't sense from Brad's review that this is what's at play there.
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Blink in Rikers
8/24/2014 10:02:35 pm
*haven't seen Rampage II
Life Itself: Really wanna see this movie. Shame they left Roeper out though, agree with you on that. I've always had a lot of respect for Ebert because, like you say, he's a guy who just enjoyed movies. He wasn't in it for any agenda like so many modern reviewers seem to be, he just loved movies and loved talking about them. I have the same relationship with games. A lot of people I talk to are very critical towards games and pick them apart but I can give something a positive review if I have fun with it. You know, it's fine liking shit as long as you have fun with it imo.
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 08:54:46 pm
I'm also a bit apologetic towards the Hostel movies. Well, mainly 2. Don't get me wrong, the story is just plain absurd, laughably so. But I really liked the tension built and the grotesquery of the kills. Artfully shot, too bad there was no dramatic base for them in the crappy story. Also you can’t sever someone’s head like that with a single swing from an axe, no matter how strong you are. I’m not buying it.
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das
8/24/2014 09:52:32 am
I really hated the first rampage. I get if he just wanted to remake what a postal move should have been, but too many things about it unsuspended my suspension of disbelief. It felt like an edgy 16 year old emo kid came up with it and the last minuet "I did it for the cahs even though the whole movie I was anti-money, it was all a ruse and I fooled you all!"
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 09:09:52 pm
It's not that surprising that Uwe Boll is an extremely juvenile writer/director. I assume that much just by his name being tacked to any movie.
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Skibz
8/25/2014 10:32:44 am
Says someone who's probably seen, like, what? One or two of his movies, if that?
Inquisitor
9/1/2014 11:29:18 pm
I've seen several of his films, and it has not swayed my opinion that the direction and writing are extremely juvenile. I've not seen Rampage, but I have seen most of his video game tie-ins regardless of how bad they are, and my reluctance to view them. (Bloodrayne ((All of them)), Alone in the Dark, In the Name of the King, etc.) There is a term for what you describe, it is called 'Contempt prior to investigation' and it is one I do not practice. I'm of the camp that when someone or something is publically ostracized, I investigate in the best unbiased way I can and form my own opinion based on my findings.
SystemsReady
8/24/2014 06:23:42 pm
You asked if there was ever going to be a critic or personality like Roger Ebert again...personally, I think not. Not with the internet. There are so many voices now - many of them prominent, and many of them with as much if not more weight than "official" media voices - that there really isn't an opportunity for a single critic to rise up in influence like that and wield it like Ebert did.
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Morhek
8/24/2014 08:38:37 pm
I love how the most common comment type here is "I'm a conspiracy theorist and even I'm insulted by Rampage: Capital Punishment." Props to you guys. Can't imagine seeing what the equivalent would be for others - Jack the Ripper as a feminism activist? Chairman Mao teaching Tai Chi? Reagan in a soup kitchen?
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Inquisitor
8/24/2014 09:12:08 pm
'Jack the Ripper as a feminism activist'
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HazyEight
1/23/2015 02:06:30 pm
I admit that one was pretty funny.
LloydFan
8/25/2014 07:40:07 am
Paul Ryan in a soup kitchen?
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Hand Of Onan
8/25/2014 07:56:51 am
Michael Jackson and Jimmy Seville working children's charities.
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Michael Buehler
8/25/2014 10:36:03 am
Rampage: Capital Punishment sounds batshit insane, I have to watch it now.
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mcgoverntt
8/25/2014 12:20:33 pm
Totally agree with you on Richard Roeper's exclusion. When I left the theater I immediately whipped out my phone and started looking up the reason he wasn't in it. Even if they didn't want to dwell on "At the Movies" and the different iterations after Siskel died, they could have at least talked to him about who Roger Ebert was as a person. At least we still have Roeper's articles about Roger to give that insight.
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Jeg Simmons
8/26/2014 03:24:41 am
I didnt understand Rampages gun lesson, everything else was just fucking stupid purely on presentation, but the gun one sort of pissed me off (being a gun lover myself)
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Madman Oreo
8/26/2014 06:15:49 am
Man, now I want a Hang Over movie where they join the club from the Hostel movies, like Zack Galifianakis wakes up with a necklace of ears or something.
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Adylure
8/26/2014 07:01:42 am
Because I was watching this while eating, I thought that dog was a really loud duck or some sort of duck alarm. XD
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RandyPan
8/26/2014 08:40:52 am
And if it wasn't for the horse, I wouldn't have spent that year at college?
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Jeg Simmons
8/26/2014 10:08:14 am
HA! i always appreciate a good lewis black reference.
deedee
9/16/2014 03:41:37 pm
Sounds like I'd hate Rampage 2 for the same reason I hate God Bless America or Falling Down.
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nroejb
11/4/2014 01:04:57 pm
While I agree that Rampage 2 sounds terrible, claiming that money is bad or that the rich control politics are not conspiracy theories in the literal sense.
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