I am Jesus, A citizen of Heaven, I am totes old. This comment of mine centers on religion. I am so happy sharing this testimony because among all religions on the internet, Christianity was the one that was able to help me in bringing back my life. I died after bad stuff happened. Now dumb movies are made about me. I'm famous! For contact and counseling, I will drop my phone number: I-H8-Spam-Comments
He also has a website: stupidspamonthiswebsite.com/
Contact religion today and your problems will be solved like mine.
Shut every comments section ever down, no one is topping this one.
Hey, Jesus! Where do I call/click to have you find my keys?!
What a crappy movie. What was that idiot's plan? Girl was so obviously and cartoonishly Christian, which completely eliminates posibility of banging her. Did he assumed that being a Christian will going to make her hot? Also, I know that no teenager wrote that script, but I really hope that this awkward as hell Christian teenagers are just a stereotype, not an actual thing... I really hope that.
Unrelated: I'm no gay, but you look really handsome from quite some time, Brad. I thing it's your beard and bald head. No gay, bro.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd totally bang him, no homo.
When you come to Cinema Snob, Nope, you come all the way! (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Come All the Way"
This movie is more insistent on draining your manhood than a massage therapist that offers happy endings.
He should've pretended he was Vanilla Ice. Then he could woo the girls with his "Go Ninja" rap and dance.
How about Johnny from The Room? You just need a bad haircut and pictures of spoons.
I know Crime of the Age is next week, but what's The Daylight Zone? Is it some Christian version of The Twilight Zone? I thought we already saw that in Second Glance!
Apparently so. I read the synopsis on IMDB.
He goes to prison?
Chrsitiano vs. David A.R. White grudge match. SOMEONE MAKE THIS HAPPEN!
Okay, is it bad that I laughed so hard during the review, that I had to watch it again due to missing a bunch of jokes?
Yeah, the "Come all the way" was hilarious, but my favorite part was Snob reprimanding Frank. "Frank, stop trying to murder people! That's not very Christian!"
This reminds me. Even if Dave doesn't want to watch "Faith of Our Fathers", just to keep the rage fresh, you should at least show him the "Jesus loves you more than anyone" scene, with its unintentional subtext.
After that ending, I suddenly now desire a Ben & Arthur review.
Also, man you seriously have that drone on speed dial when it comes to Jesus flicks, don't you?
*To the tune of that song by B44:
If you get down on Jesus, he'll get down on you
Gonna make you come tonight,
Over to God's house!
Sounds like someone just watched h3h3's latest video.
Well, at least it's not as hate filled as God's Not Dead or Old Fashioned, nor is it as horribly preachy like If Footmen Tire You Out or Second Glance, but that's like saying To Catch a Yeti is slightly better than Going Bananas or Nukie, it's still the cinematic equivalent to being set on fire by a Christian who couldn't accept you for following the Constitution like a normal person instead of a Bible, but you'll be more likely to kill your murderer before he sets you on fire. #ThanksTedCruz
You had one job, movie. Title is The Pretender, and it's an 80s high school flick, yet no Jackson Browne soundtrack. I am very, very disappointed.
Also, why is it that in all of these movies, Christian = a certain kind of fundamentalist evangelical, probably white, probably KJV only? Do the other denominations not have enough money, or are they just more secure in who they are that they don't need to make cheesy films to remind them of it? I ALMOST can't fault such people for the way they treat others as monoliths (Muslims and atheists in particular) because they treat themselves as a monolith. Religion as a checklist.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go play "Lawyers In Love".
These religious movies are my favorites you've done! They're kinda fascinating to watch, especially with the Snob perspective. :) Looking forward to more of these, scary as it is that so many exist.
This is a lot of bad films. How deep does the Christhole go?
Um, excuse me, but I think you mean the Christianohole? Even when you're trying to do better with your humor you still fall flatter on your face than Doug Walker in every video he's ever done ever.
No, I mean Christhole...
I'm not talking exclusively about Christiano films...
Did anyone see SNL's God is Not Dead parody this weekend? God is a Boob Man. Best satire SNL has done in a long time, IMO.
SNL became funny again? I thought it torpedoed by politically correct humor and really unfunny sketches.
That's doesn't answer his question. To answer your question since this guy is either too proud or to lazy to express it (though lets be honest here you're too lazy to answer so don't even bother), I saw the SNL sketch spoofing God's Not Dead, and not only was it funnier than the official movie its spoofing, but it also points out everything that is wrong with these Christian films altogether. #GodIsDead #StopLaziness # ThanksTedCruz #ChristiansAreRuiningHollywood #TrumpIsISIS
Keith isn't very good at the DENNIS System.
He felt more like one of the McBoyles.
There's tons of good Christian music out there, kind of unavoidable when you're in choir. African/Black/Negro spirituals are the bomb (however you refer to them).
13:34 With them dressed like a pair of 3d glasses, the date should proceed quite STEREOtypical.
I don't under stand the purpose of "The Pretender". Things like this are usually variations on a theme: Guy doesn't believe when the movie starts. Guys goes through some sort of thing. Guy ends up becoming a believer by the end.
That doesn't happen here.
At the end of the story the girl feels stupid (I assume) for falling for this guy's bullshit, the guy doesn't pay for his misdeed(s) except for getting c-blocked, and at the end he says he still doesn't really believe (or is it that he doesn't want to give it much attention?) but if he ever gets into it he "come all the way".
So has our main character gained?
Yeah, I don't get it either.
Ass. Didn't he walk away in the same direction as Frank at the end?
its a shame this and a few other episodes are not on youtube
I wish this was on youtube, as for some reason videos on this website refuse to load for me in any browser, on any system home or away, on any IP I've tried, in any combination of turning on/off addblock/peerblock/ublock/ghostery/firewall/vpn/referrer control/etc, due to a "cannot load M3U8: crossdomain access denied error (2048)" issue, not just for me, but for friends as well!
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.