Yay! New Cinemer Snerb!
That's the Cinamon Snob to you sir!
I'd vote for a Cinnamon Cha-Lupa!
That joke is dead now, time to move on.
That reveal of what was inside the killer is one of the grossest things I think I've seen on this show. And that includes Gross Out, Basket Case and the ET porno films.
I nominate Bob as one of the worst movie villains of all time.
Fulci is definitely mean spirited enough to kill off children in his movies, but he kept Bob alive just to troll the audience. Damn you Fulci!
If it's any consolation, Bob was later killed by the Joker in Tim Burton's 1989 classic Batman.
*sniff* but.... her was my number one guy......
I totally kept thinking of that character from Batman (1989) every time the Snob said, "Bob." Nicholson kind of said his name with the same inflection too. Totally would have preferred that actor than this little, annoying jerkwad.
Has he mentioned The Beyond in every Italian Horror review this year? Foreshadowing for a big Beyond special?
dear god I hope so
Wait...oh fuck, that trailer voice-over is giving me WAY too much of a Gatekeeper vibe!
No wonder Bob made it to the end; we were meant to suffer because the whole movie took place in the Blag'ol!
I was thinking the SAME THING! Time to take a trip into the Blag'o! "LOOK AT ME YOU MAGGOT!"
"How...oooold did you say you are? NONE under 18 shall be permitted! You are BANN-ISHED, mag-got, until you are old enough for the bla"---ooookay, I have way too much fun with this. I better stop now before I'm unable to get out of this character mindset.
I still find it hard to believe that that's not Tommy Wiseau early on in his career. Admittedly the Gatekeeper puts more effort into one sentence than Wiseau did into the entire script of "The Room", but the resemblance is still uncanny.
Every time I hear Brother Theodore's voice, I can only think of Mommy Fortuna's manservant in "The Last Unicorn"....."A HARPY!"
"Its insides are an inferno, but it's skin is so cold, it BURNS! Speaks seventeen languages badly, and is subject to gout!"
I'm just happy that there are actually people here who understand these goddamn references! Ohhhh, it's so nice to have someone to play with! Pffft, heheheheheh!
Ahhhh. I really enjoyed this episode! You had me cracking up plenty. I loved your uptake at the beginning on the over-exposure on the last episode. I love that your making these Italian horror films a regular attraction. It all makes for some great content, and I'm sure you already have all of these on DVD anyway. I hope you get around to the Joe D'Amato produced "Witchery." It's high time we had some Hasselhoff on the Cinema Snob! I enjoyed the movie, but yeah, it's ripe for some Snob material.
One of my favorite horror films of all time. I think it works on dream logic where obviously not a lot makes sense but on a whole it's really creepy. Either way I love this review and yes, Bob is evil...Twin Peaks taught us that.
Not sure if this would be a problem on your end or not but with the last couple videos I've watched on here I've been able to hear the ads but the screen is just black. I turn off my adblock for this site so that's not it.
That intro made me nostalgic for Ye Old Snob. All that was needed to complete the illusion was some buzzing white noise, thicker spectacle lenses and several more quarter pounders in your diet.
You're looking good, Brad. Some guys don't suit being thin, but you do. The new look Cinema Snob is less Diet Coke, more Coke Zero. Which is to say he's still pretty damn sweet, but less likely to keel over clutching at his heart through a fistful of man-boob.
I love you, buddy. Now get your skinny white arse to the UK and sign me an gosh-darn autograph!
Gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.
.........well, THAT was fun! Who's for Chinese?
Daniela Doria was his muse. he loved killing her off in most of his best films.
Is that Bob from Blackadder?
No, it's Bob from The Dresden Files
Fucking Bob. He is nothing like the Joker's henchmen from 1988's Batman!
That shtick with bad lighting doesn't really work anymore, Brad...mainly because you're not fat. Get your phat back, become obese again, then maybe it'll work.
Brad wasn't fat in the early episodes that were known for their incredibly dark lighting. He didn't get fat until a couple years after doing the show, and it was after the very darkly lit basement episodes. Get your facts right before you nitpick.
He was an obese fatass both during the "basement" period and in-between "then and now", so no, it is you who is the wrong one here.
Actually, no, In the first couple years of the show, my weight was pretty much what it is now. I fluctuated between about 130 and 150 pounds. You can see it more clearly in my movie Game Boys, where I weighed 136 pounds, and that movie was filmed within the first year or two of doing the Snob show. Also "The Refrigerator" episode starts with a more brighter shot of me where you can see how thin I was.
I didn't start putting on a lot of weight until I stopped working at a restaurant and took a desk job, so I wasn't getting as much exercise, and then when I started working from home in 2009/2010, I definitely started putting on more weight. That wasn't until the "apartment episodes," where the chair was against a corner in the wall, with no posters in the background. So, Silver's right, sorry.
I love how you're calling him fat, when he was pudgy at most. You wanna see fat, look at me five years ago!
Oh come on, that babysitter was hot as hell. I demand a porn spoof!
um is The Beyond the one with face-eating tarantulas? I think I'll have to skip that one.
I wonder, if I start a conversation about Purple Monkey Dishwasher, will Brad reference it in the next episode?
Hey, Stop & Shop! That means this movie was made in Massachusetts! That explains a lot.
I was thinking the same thing. probably filmed without permits too, ala zombi
"Read the fine print! You may have just mortgaged your life!"
Was this movie made my William Castle???
Bob needs to go bob for apples…and stay there.
I live in a house by a cemetary and my name is not Bob.
I don't care who does it, I don't care how they do it, I just want the "Bat" DEAD!
Bob? Bob, ain't that a bitch?
Oh gee I just flew in from Atop the forth wall .com and boy are arms...not tired because I am just sitting at my desk eating. New snob? should I watch as I eat? hmmmmm.
God. i was hoping you'd review this at some point. Fuck that aryan youth and his pink gun.
Also, any chance you could do Faust (1994, Director: Jan Švankmajer)? One of the most hilarious films i've ever watched.
Who was the most annoying child actor in a movie?
I honestly can't think of a single child actor that I didn't like. ^_^
I honestly hope you are joking. Bob, that little asshole from star wars perquel, that glass eyed asshole from jerry mcsomethething, that queery one from 6th sense. I could go forever.
Only one who really killed on his role was kid on The Shining. They had to test cast tousands of 6 year olds before they found the one who could nail the long scenes.
Well, that one is easy. For Brad, it's Wesley from To Catch a Yeti.
Not really annoying, but the kid in Communion has this weird way of saying his lines that sticks with you for ages after watching the movie. "I think Santa Claus can do just about anything, don't YOOOUUUUUU DAAAAAAAAAD!?"
I've seen a lot of annoying child actors, but the ones that come to my mind immediately in recent memories are the two kids who played Drew Barrymore's sons in the movie Blended. They, particularly the older one, were two of the most ANNOYING child characters I've ever seen in a movie!!! Bob in this movie seems much more tolerable compared to them!!!
Wow! I didn't even realize how stupid this film was in retrospect. I'm a Fulci fan, but I can even say that some of his films were... a bit goofy and didn't make too much sense.
Brad tries Fiddle Faddles?
Yes! Somehow, that needs to happen!
Damn, I LOVE the look of that old house..... old Victorian styling, mini-turret/cupola thingamajig.... <3
seriously need some winning lotto numbers....
i have been waiting for you to review this for a long time
I don't get it, my grade school was across the street from an old cemetery and the weirdest thing that happened their was the playground receiving a visit from a moose… A MOOSE!!
Although the movie itself is reminding me of an old Crypt Keeper/Vault of Horror comic about a man with a malignant tumor who gets a witch to curse him to "not die," becoming a cancerous blob monster that gets trapped in a cave.
How weird that was depends greatly on whether it was a moose cemetery.
Got damn. I'd rank this review in my Top 10 Snob episodes. One of the funniest I've seen.
Hey Brad, what are your favorite films
I know caligula is your favorite
It's awesome that your're doing a lot of Italian horror this year. I started watching these in high school and always loved the creepiness and the gore. As long as you can deal with the plot holes and nonsense they're pretty fun to watch. Unfortunately Fulci likes to have confusing stories. Anyone who's seen the end of City of the Living Dead knows what I'm talking about.
Boo! the kid was a good kid actor and this movie was SO Wizard guise!
I was recently on a weeklong school field trip to the bible belt and was feeling really depressed. I seem to be losing all my friends and just felt like I didn't fit in. Then, low and behold, I see a giant ad for "The Identical." I don't know why it was still up in fucking February, but it was, and for one brief moment, I was incredibly happy.
Thanks for doing what you do.
Really hope Lamberto Bava's Dèmoni gets the Snob treatment in Italian Horror Season. It's awesome.
It features blood and gore aplenty, dreadful dubbing, a soundtrack that screams eighties and arguably the greatest Kick Ass Black Dude (now there's a cinema trope!) in horror cinema. This guy was so cool that they brought him back for the sequel... despite him dying on screen.
Also, thanks to a very lenient Mother, it's a film which holds a lot of nostalgia for me. Hell, it got me dragged into my headteacher's office back in primary school. I had drew a picture of the VHS cover in one of my school books... including the little triangle with the 18 Certificated inside (the UK version of an X rating). Needless to say, ten year old me shouldn't have owned a copy.
Not that it effected me. Besides murdering prostitutes, I'm a well adjusted guy.
Why is it when someone jokes about being fucked up, they always go with "murdering prostitutes"?
Also, you didn't mention the best part; guy hacking up demons with a katana while riding a motorcycle through a movie theatre!
... only because words struggle to do such a scene justice.
It's like an Iron Maiden album cover made flesh.
I always thought if I ever had a dog, I would name him Bob.
If I had a cat, I'd name him Larry.
Is that loathsome child actor the same one as from Warriors of the Wasteland?
Nice to see that Bob went on to play Baby Bob in an episode of Night Court before playing one if not both of the Bobs from Office Space!
And seriously. Lindsay Lohan should show this movie IN ITS ENTIRETY to a jury..They'd have no choice but to clear of of any and all misdeed past, present, and future.
I have to admit the first time those eyes appeared in the darkness, it startled me a fair bit. Probably doesn't help that I watched this review around midnight.
Of course, upon closer inspection those eyes look kind of cartoonish. And the monster doesn't even have eyes. What the fuck?
Am I the only one who saw those, and thought, "It's time to face your maker on the Muppet Show tonight!"
As long as you're doing Fulci I'd love to see MANHATTAN BABY (more Bob!) and CONQUEST.
...And then Tom Noonan moved in and hired a babysitter. The End.
I am a grim humourless arsehole, so I don't normally laugh at anything. That fraudstein joke made me genuinely LOL tho, nice work Berd 'Cineme Snerb' Johns.
These Italian horror movie reviews inspired me to pull out the box of old VHS tapes of various Italian horror movies I bought from a video store for $2 a piece back when I was in high school 20 years ago. It's been too long since I watched them
"The Cinema Snob Gets Mad at a Kid" is my favorite show. I like it even better than "Captain Cockatoo".
New Line Cinema Snob: Now with more gore, more black boxes and less Freddy Kruger puns. While Fulci is one of my favorites I do agree this film was damn screwy. Even in the Fulchi Collection set with the English subtitles this flick is still confusing and screwy but no Bob dubbed annoyance. Christ, I wanted to feed that little shit into an industrial wood chipper feet first to hear him scream all the way.
And how come he never tried to get Tisa Farrow back after Zombi? And what of Scarecrow's brain?
Best of luck to you on your quest of Italian Horror. You can always attempt to wade through the sewage that is Lamberto Bava's Demons.
I actually gave a decent performance in the original Italian version, but you illiterate American fucks insist on watching the dub. God damn it.
You've got to tone down your lighting. It's way too bright. It almost blinded me on first scene of the video. Otherwise, all good. Thanks.
If I'd only kept watching a few more seconds.
I cracked up when the bat attacked the mom and Snob said, "what did you learn?"
I almost spit my drink out on my keyboard at the fiddle faddle bit. Also, this guy must have a fetish for shoving things uncomfortably close to your face with a shock stinger sound. Also, I imagine the lady being attacked by cartoon sound effects when she starts screaming "the sounds are coming from inside the speakers!"
I read somewhere this movie was even more confusing when it hit the theaters. Reels or editing was fucked up at some point so scenes come out of totally random.
Anyhow the proper version is definitely one of top 3 fulci movies and personal favorite. It is absolutely "influenced" by haunted house hits like amityville horror and the shining.
Sure the plot is bit confusing, that bat attack is totally hilarious and that fucking kid must be the most annoying one captured on celluloid.
None of this didn't ruin movie for me. The overall tension and fucked up atmosphere, decent cinematography and actors and absolutely brutal gore and makeup effects. I remember that camera drive to basement full of dead mutilated children and Froidstein himself are still stuck in my head when I saw this when I was around 15 years old LOL (got pirated vhs so no covers spoilers)
I have this movie on a double feature DVD with Sleepaway Camp. I always wondered if you were going to do this one.
Loved this one. Great job on the episode.
Homygosh, first cinema snob episode that isn't on something REALLY mainstream where I've ACTUALLY SEEN THIS MOVIE.
Do I get snob points?
I was just watching Rifftrax for Warriors of the Wasteland and guess who shows up? Fucking Bob!
Fucking Bob, but fucking HOT babysitter.
A Facebook friend of mine just watched this film, and he said it is the absolute worst film he has ever seen in his entire life.
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.