My mistake, this is WAY WORSE than The Forest!!!
Why does that movie title remind me of something horrible I missed this past year and was glad I did?
I don't know, man. I just don't know if I can handle this one.
A also now think I have a pretty good guess for what will be Brad's worst movie of the year.
Oh I have Saving Kirk Cameron Christmss faith that the Rabbit Hole is far deeper and more deplorable than I can possibly imagine. Otherwise, I don't think I would be so fascinated to keep tuning in for the self torture Brad subjects himself. Perhaps he could fashion Lloyd into a robot for conversational comfort in wretched storm that is to come for his sore eyes ;)
Please do The Identical.
Yes to this.
I don't know how many still remember how infuriated Endless Love (2014) made Brad, but if we're opening it up to newer movies, I really want to see that get the Snob treatment, if only to see just how badly it diverges from the story of the original movie, not just the book.
Yes, yes, yes! I'll have what she's having! (Or he, I try to be gender-blind about faked orgasms in diners.)
Here's where the diconnect is with me. I'm not really agenst you doing new movies for your show, It's just your picking movies you've already given your opionon on in other videos. Saving Christmas, this, and I'm sire You'll get around to doing stuff like War Room in the future. It just kind of feels like your reviwing the same movie twice and repeating the same things you've already given in your midnight screenings.
I like that he's doing these. You really can't understand how insane something is until you see it, even if it's just in clips. I had no idea how batshit insane Saving Christmas was even after three Midnight Screenings until the Snob episode.
I like being able to see the clips of movies he's discussed in the past, and he may have new things to say about them since those reviews. Besides, at least he's not doing one midnight screenings review and following up with a clipless Snob review where he just acts out scenes from the movie.
I understand your frustration. But on average about 10x more people watch The Cinema Snob than Midnight Screenings, so while you may have seen the MS episode, there's a lot of people who haven't, so here's my chance to talk about the movie to a larger audience, and do so more prepared and hit on a lot things I didn't in the MS episode. Plus I get to do it in a different way, with jokes and a lot more humor.
And even for people who have seen the MS episode, now they can see clips and a lot more things that Dave and I were talking about, plus this also gives a chance to promote the Midnight Screenings series as well. Not every single episode I do this year is going to be on something I did on the Midnight Screenings. For instance, next week is something from the 80s.
I agree. I usually watch "Midnight Screenings" long enough to see if Brad likes the movie he's reviewing. It's not as funny as "Snob," and it's a bit too long-winded for my taste. And the "Saving Christmas" Snob ep was the second-best of the year (behind "The Passion of the Christ"), and this one was as good. Christian movie producers need to produce better movies.
I haven't seen too many "10 Worst" lists, but if Rotten Tomatoes is any indication, this movie should have made some of them. "Fifty Shades" had a 25 RT rating, while "Old-Fashioned" scored 21%.
Speaking of "Fifty Shades," when is Brad going to review that one. I would've hope either he or NC would've reviewed it by now.
Speaking of Christian movies, I hope Brad reviews "The Robe" soon.
Makes sense to me - though I'm surprised that MS doesn't do better for views. It's become my go to source for figuring out if a new film really is worth the time and money to see in the theater because there's always enough information about the movie under review that I can make the decision with confidence - whether the crew reviewing it liked it or not. Everest for example.
Gonna be a killjoy here, but I do not like MS. Too digressive for my tastes (not like I can't see why others like it, but I don't). So, like other posters have noted, I just watch an MS long enough to get the short "is this worth my time or not" review, then skip merrily along. I prefer getting a scripted critique with clips rather than the off-the-cuff responses. Again, that's just my preference.
I often get frustrated like you when a free, weekly internet show reviews something twice. Then I remember that I can just look past that and enjoy the free entertainment, or I can simply chalk it up to a particular episode I didn't care for and move on with my life.
The thing is that I like watching these episodes, and then rewatching the midnight screenings a few days later. And then laughing my ass off, because somehow having seen parts of the movie makes every genuine groan feel more satisfying. XD
The feeling I get, is like when you hear about somebody weird, for ages and then you finally meet then, and they are a lot weirder than you picture in your head.
I have to admit, the scene where not!Sarah sarcastically went "OH SO SEXY" to the death penalty question in the book cracked me up.
I like that there's a new Snob vid, but this movie isn't even two years old. You said you had to take a break from Snobbing, and that's fine. But are you also taking a break from Snobbing films from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, too? Just wondering, that's all.
In the "Saving Christmas" video I said that my cutoff date was being nixed. Next week is for an 80s movie though. I'm going to be doing a number of Cannon movies this year.
I don't when they were made. As long as the show is entertaining.
By any chance will you or have you thought about doing any of the Tartan "Revenge Trilogy" movies? They are good, but they do fit under exploitation.
On the subject of Cannon films, have you seen Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films.
What? You're skipping the "killing off your reviewer character and then resurrecting him" step and going straight ending your own self-imposed cutoff date? This is madness!
I think of Snob as more of an exploitation guy than a nostalgia guy, so nothing seemed off about it to me. I didn't even know he had a cut-off.
What the hell was this?! And why are religious backed or themed movies more scary than horror films?
But I know how to fix Old Fashioned: German E.T. porn.
ET Porn from Germany was recently found dead yesterday...I killed it with my Murdoch Mystery brigade of anachronistic Canadian fan girls from the 1960's who think an alien from another world would be a rad idea.
Must not see the movie before I see the review, must not see the movie before I see the review...
Okay, I convinced myself not to. Sorry, I've been catching up on Midnight Screenings (Boxtrolls, Dumb And Dumber To era) and I've been tempted to watch the movies before I watch the reviews.
Good Lord, WHY?!
"Hey Jim, I heard this movie sucks."
"Oh yeah? So-bad-its-good?"
"No. It's annoying as fuck when it isn't boring as fuck."
"I need to see that movie now!"
Wow, I never watch the movies before the Snob reviews. I think the only one I had seen prior to the review was Wired (the one with John Belushi's ghost).
Watching this review means that I'll have to watch scenes from Old Fashioned.
I don't think I want to do that.
Just pretend Clay is a Grandpa standing outside in the night screaming at people in a bathrobe and his scenes become more bearable to watch.
But, I like Dreamcatcher and the ass weasel awesome. I think it's a good movie.
Otherwise a great snob episode.
Ah, I love whenever you do a WTF Hollywood movie.
Would you consider reviewing some WTF animation movies like Dirty Duck again?
There's a weird one called "Robin and the Dreamweavers". I THINK it's supposed to be anti-internet porn propaganda, but the animators didn't get the memo.
I actually really enjoy getting to see cinema snob reviews of some of the more insane shit you've talked about in midnight screenings. Mostly because now I get to see clips of the film without having to put myself through the agony of actually watching the thing.
With Swartzwelder's stone cold creepy performance here, this is probably the best romantic comedy I've seen since Cronenberg's Videodrome.
Not going to lie: I almost turned off your review at the 13-minute mark, because this movie--Clay, mostly--was annoying the hell out of me. Furthermore, no sane woman in the real world would put up with this dude's shit; they'd be gone before the first date could even happen. Fuck Old Fashioned.
So Brad, for the sake of your sanity, I think it's best if you take the rest of 2016 off. After subjecting yourself to this movie, you deserve it.
Oh Godjesuschrist, this movie. I actually watched it because I apparently hate life, I mean, because I was intrigued by the "old fashioned courtship" idea, but I found it off point and charmless. Okay idea, terrible execution. You nailed it in this review: there's so much middle ground between this and crap like 50 Shades. I'd rather see that than this extremist bullshit.
I'm really enjoying these snob reviews of recent movies. I hope God's Not Dead is coming up. :)
To expand on why it felt off point, since I wasn't turned off by the actual premise. To me an "old fashioned courtship" would be people being like, nice to each other, not playing these stupid childish games. Like that humiliating cutting up baby food scene, or her breaking shit in her apartment to see him (that's nearing some Misery shit, right there), or testing each other from that off-putting book instead of having conversations. Is it a date or Pop Quiz Hotshot??
"Old fashioned" would also imply being kind, and humble, not like this pompous douchebag. Like why wouldn't he just leave if he doesn't approve of the stripper? Oh yeah, cause he has to be a dick about it. Congratulations movie, you made me side with the stripper over the so-called "moral" person.
Do Mom's Night Out next please.
According to the ratings on IMDB, this romance movie is better than Endless Love, but it's NOT better than the remake of Endless love. What weird ass world are we living in?
2:44- NAME DROP!
4:25- I feel sorry for ya, Brad. At least there aren't any jackass movie characters I know of named Eric. Also, Lloyd is a much better actor than the pet cat in this movie.
5:19- Rush Limbaugh would be so proud of this jagoff.
To me, Clay looks like a dollar store version of Cary Elwes.
13:14- This lady isn't as much of an airhead like, say, Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton, but's she's up there.
15:14- I thought nothing good happens after 2 a.m., as said in How I Met Your Mother.
20:04- An this movie has gone to Rock: It's Your Decision territory. God fuckin' help us all!
And thus we have possibly THE most uncomfortable romance film since Moment by Moment.
And there's a major difference between Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Old Fashioned: one is entertaining, the other is this bland piece of shit.
Endless Love didn't have churches busing people to see it and afterwards telling them to up-vote in the name of Jesus. So no, this is not better than Endless Love. Can't say it is all that much worse either though.
I agree with you. I was just stating the IMDB rating of this movie.
If it doesn't have James Spader being psychotic, creepy, or playing a lawyer then it isn't a romantic movie for me
Or James Spader being a psychotic, creepy robot who wants to kill every living thing on the planet.
Good to see that Sarah is furthering her acting career!
Dear Mr. Cinema Snob, I object to your flagrant plagiarism of Variety.com's comment section; specifically how you repeated Brad someone-or-other's rebuttal to the film-maker's step-father.
Thanks Douchey, because of you I went to Variety to see the comments for myself. I may need medication after reading those.
Well, there goes my description of Carla Quevedo as Not-Sarah Lewis.
In a shocking (to nobody at all) twist, it seems that church groups and the like have been astroturfing the hell out of this movie anytime it's mentioned online. Bam! I'd hate to be an atheist after reading some of THOSE reviews! If you want to be amused (and possibly terrified for the future of this country) check out the 'reviews' for Old Fashioned on Amazon.
It's really hard to tell which of the reviewers are coming there from sites like this or being ironic by subtly riffing the movie and pointing out the absurd mindset of its target audience. I'm sure that a depressingly high percentage of them genuinely love the movie and support the 'moral' of this story 100%.
Whether it's an unhinged televangelist spewing fire and brimstone, or just the garden variety right-wing zealots who choose our national leaders, the basic thing I wonder with these folks is always the same. It's hard to figure out who's trolling, versus who is legitimately drinking the Kool-Aid.
Also, I can just imagine a couple out on a date night stumbling into this knowing nothing about it, seeing the poster and figuring, "Hey, a fun romantic comedy!" On the bright side, at least they might decide to fool around later in the evening just out of pure spite toward everyone involved in making this movie.
The whole "wrecking shit to make him visit" psycho-logic, I get it, but do land-lords in the U.S usually repair fridges for tenants? Or does he just dabble in certified appliance repair as one of his hobbies?
Just trying to pin down what kind of stupidity is at work here.
The baby food proposal scene is really creepy like it's some sort of lost X File episode and the monster finally gets to breed.
For all those who thought 50 Shades of Grey was the worst romance of 2015, well it's still bad, but at least it's not this piece of Christian propaganda filth called a film. And I agree with Brad, those who say otherwise haven't seen Old Fashioned. Either they refuse to see it or they're so dedicated to their opinion like its a religion that they'll refuse any outside opinion. So stop whoring your top 10 worst lists with 50 Shades and look at the true trash that's being pushed to theaters. #ReligionIsTheSourceOfAllEvil.
Yeah, the first thing I thought of when I read the title is "So Brad's reviewing some obscure porno about hand jobs?"
Old Fashioned is like the bastard child of Rock: It's Your Decision and Endless Love. It's a combination of R:IYD's demented preachiness with EL's psychotic qualities of the male lead. With a little bit of "I Am Here... Now" sprinkled in for that "OMG the director thinks he can act" flavor.
Speaking of which, who come you've never done "I Am Here...Now" yet? I would think that would be right up your alley, Brad.
Just sayin, if I win the Powerball, I will build an Asylum type film studio to remake all these god damned protestant fake x-ian films into movies so smutty and gorry that Llyod Kaufman will be repulsed.
... That movie was so repulsive and offensive, I had a hard time getting through The Cinema Snob episode of it... Jesus, give me some Caligula anal fisting or Salo over Old Fashioned.
I say the same thing when I go to a cocktail bar.
Ugh. This movie is so disgustingly wrong that it scares me to imagine men like Clay actually existing. I feel like that poor woman will never be able to have a healthy relationship before she's suddenly found dead. It gives me chills.
Well, this movie seems to be more uninteresting than just plain bad, which is why this Snob episode unfortunately did not work for me. I am sad to say that this is the most boring Snob review in a very long time.
Kinda sad when the safer date might be Joe Spinnel in Maniac.
That guy in the movie is messed up. He can't be alone in a room with a woman? Why? If he does will he get an instant boner and try to rape her? Why does he assume that dating always involves having sex? Old Fashioned doesn't seem to understand what innocent and decent really mean.
OOGIELOVES!! OOGIELOVES!! OOGIELOVES!!
WHO DARES SUMMON US!!!
My secret mission for the singing golden balloons was almost complete...it was hard making sure the one large purple child's pants stayed put--but I did it with Ninja magic and then killed all three of the children with a blade technique called "oodles of noodles"--they suffered the death of honor.
I've followed Brad since the YouTube days, so it's admittedly a little strange to see him gravitating so frequently towards both 'mainstream' fare and more recent films. Heck, I remember being really surprised way back when he decided to go "Hollywood" with 'Friday the 13th Part V'!
2015 really dialed back the Z-movie obscurity in favor of "WTF Hollywood?!" and more well-known cult films; I think Brad's a funny guy regardless of genre, so I don't mind at all that he's expanding his riffing into newer territory, but I'm curious if this means the show's moving in a new direction. Since he's nixed the cut-off date, is it going to become structured more like the Nostalgia Critic in covering both older schlock AND new movies, or will newer flicks be special occasions for off-the-wall exceptions like 'Saving Christmas'?
In terms of newer movies, it has to be a really special kind of WTF for me to pick it for an episode. Like "Saving Christmas" or "Old Fashioned." You won't be seeing something like The Gallows or The Forest or some other generic current bad movie on here.
There's still going to be plenty of older stuff on here. Next week's episode is on something from the 80s, plus I'm working on a new DVD that's all 70s and 80s porno episodes. Of all the things I have written down to do episodes on, there's really only a small handful that are current.
Hey, Brad, I don't see why it is a big deal for some that you occasionally review a current shit flick, as long as it makes a funny episode it's all good.
On a side note, anyone noticed that both fifty shades and this movie have a pretty charismatic actress as the love interest, but a creepy dude with no talent as the lead?
I wouldn't say Jamie Dornan has no talent. He was completely miscast in Fifty Shades, but he's really damn good in The Fall.
Do you think Charlie Hunnam would have been better in 50 shades if he would have stayed on with the project?
Good point, have to admit I haven't seen him in anything else, not that I know of anyway. Maybe he'll turn out to be one of those actors who becomes popular with a bad movie but will show he's got some chops in others. Well, I guess he already has then.
I don't know if I should watch this, Brad. I'm not supposed to watch reviews of movies by myself if I'm not married to the reviewer.
That wasn't much of a proposal... put some emotion into it, for Brad's sake!
Should I propose in the baby food aisle or the cat food aisle?
My god was this movie awful. I felt like Clay was going to just rape this poor girl at any moment. I see what you meant by the Midnight screening not doing this turd justice.
Jews run Hollywood
For a very good reason
Because of this shit
Hey, I got a Haiku too.
You are not funny.
You are the cancer of laughs.
Go eat Shit and Live.
My brief thoughts on Brad's Christian propaganda movie reviews:
Bless your soul forever for being so generous as to review these films. My father was insanely controlling when I was a teenager and forced my Mom and I to attend a bible believing church for a period of time. I can sadly say I have met creeps like the main character in this film and yes, they would love and identify with this film whole heartedly. I consider myself lucky though, know thy enemy, and keep them close...Old Fashioned reminds me of this axiom so I can show this to my niece or daughter one day and say, "Run Away"
Beyond that I still can't tell Brad if you are a Christian man who wants to believe there can be entertainment from that propaganda machine that you want to see succeed in some small manner or if when your ire comes out, you are hiding an atheist or agnostic under your jacket, either way please don't destroy a perfectly good television over Old Fashioned as tempting as it might be.
Brad is openly agnostic...
That seems a healthy choice.
My god Brad, this was the first time when I quit watching your video beacause movie you review is so painful and disturbing... and I've seen E.T. the porno...
This has got to be one of the most films you have reviewed yet. Like the clips in the review were painful enough that I actually feel sorry that you had to watch the whole thing to create the review. I had Jesus Camp flashbacks (just that level of gag me "Christian" insanity).
Please, go watch and review some horror films, for all our sanity.
Folks be honest, Don't you want to see our snob be forced to sit through some Full Moon Pictures flicks? Some Puppet Master, Subspecies maybe even the cinematic opus that was Gingerdead Man. Dear God I would slap Gary Busey for it but I think it would make him crazier.
Okay I am am willing to say I would give good money for the Cinemasnob to riff on House 2 The Second Story--the old eighties horror movie.
For the "Midnight Screening" of this, click the Magic Arrow next to my name!
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.