Sorry Snob,i prefer my exploitation movies with nazis,aliens,zombies,ninjas or werewolves. Thank you very much.
i can hear the snob saying this
Gah, Blip get your shit together!
Fucking Blip!!! ¬¬
... Is the guy doing the intro trying to imitate Tim Curry?
Starring Lady Deadpool!
Hmmm, this movie doesn't look as bad as Samurai Cop. The Crayola marker matte paintings are kinda cute.
More argentinian porn, please!!!
Okay, the BIG question, Brad. Better or worse samurai movie than "47 Ronin?"
Also, glad to hear your voice has improved so much.
Just out of curiosity, was there an announcement about the Snob intro music changing from the Greatest American Hero theme to something unique to every video? I don't mind the new stuff, but prefer the old
Why does there need to be an announcement?
I believe an announcement for such a change is called a lawsuit.
Took me way too long to figure out why Lloyd was there. Not just to be adorable this time, though he still rocks at that. Very subtle your snobness.
Your assumption is racist against Lloyd!
Just about to go to bed when I saw this popped up and decided to watch. Funny stuff especially Lloyd being cute on the chair!
Question Brad, how many of John T. Bone's pornos do you own in your collection?
This is one of the most offensive things you've posted. Congratulations on a great video :D
I'm not sure if the Snob got it or not, but Occident means Western society, ie. the opposite of "The Orient".
It's quite a sophisticated pun, for a cheap porn.
I was wondering if Brad actually got that or not...
You're very right about it being too good of a porn for a crappy 80s porn.
*pun for a crappy 80s porn. D'oh.
Still racist as fuck. I HATE STUFF LIKE THIS, WHERE ALL OF EAST ASIA IS ONE HORRIBLE, GLASSES-WEARING, L-AND-R REVERSING MASS OF RACISM!!!!!!!
I think Lloyd should get a directing credit.
DEAR CINEMA SNOB,
This episode has left me confused. After Drive, I thought you were gay. Now you're coming off as very straight or at the very least bisexual. Have you told Jerrid about this yet? I find it creepy that an allegedly gay man sits in cars with attractive young women on a weekly basis. Are you even remotely turned on by E.T. and bigfoot anymore? I demand you explain yourself!
DEAR JOHN K,
It seems your assumptions were proven incorrect. Besides, everyone knows being turned on by Bigfoot is bestiality, and who knows what gender E.T. actually has. Learn to widen your sexual horizon.
1) Had you read the comments section of last week you would have gotten the joke here.
2) Don't explain the joke.
3) Why do you tell me to broaden my sexual horizons, while treating people who feel attracted to sentient crypitids and aliens of unidentified gender with shame? I'm calling hypocrisy, goddammit!
We all know it's your Brad, stop stroking your ego, what's left of it.
What? I don't own Brad. Brian wouldn't ever sell his prize moneymaker to anyone.
Oh, wait, your think I'm Brad Jones. Actually? No. The truth is I'm secretly Barrack Obama. As such, I'm never going to quit stroking my own ego which has a near-infinite supply.
1) + 2) = Don't explain the joke you didn't get. Yeah, can't argue with that.
3) I was just pointing out how you apparently shove everything you don't understand into the gay corner.
P.S.: You're jokes are lame.
You take the comments section way too seriously, son.
Is it too much to ask for a little bit of professionality in a comment section of a video about the "Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell"?
I though you said you were done with the heroin John, it's over they took your show you need to move on.
Your friends aren't what I would call attractive
That's not a nice thing to say, so what if they're "ugly" it's the inside that matters the most...right?
Hey guys, i'll admit, I get turned on when I watch panda sex tapes on Youtube, Pandas may be lazy, but they sure do know how to have some wild sex.
I kind of wish they would force one of the pandas to wear a shirt though; that would be so much more arousing, does anyone agree?
Oh by the way John K, it doesn't concern you what other people's sexual desires are; if I was in charge of this country I would make a policy simply called the "Fuck Anything You Want" policy. I've always wanted to get married to a copy of Ernest Hemmingway's "The Sun Also Rises", maybe someday that will be legal.
Oh hell, I just got around to seeing the goofy-ass Batwoman episode of MST3K a few short months ago. A part of me truly fears Bone-Boy saw that movie and thought "if only it were a porno..." and made it himself, because THAT needed to happen.
In fact...fuck you, fuck you, fuck YOU....*you're* cool! And fuck you, I'm out! (I suppose the Coming To America one works just as well. Who's next?)
So does the movie get points for acknowledging the fact that it is a bad movie?
With a name like that, you know you're in for a good time. Or at least, a good episode
I keep giggling like a dweeb because it sounds like Bimbo-san is pronouncing it "binbo" instead of "bimbo", and "binbo" is the actual Japanese word for "poor". And it's a shitty low-budget movie. This all makes me laugh for some reason.
Also, shame on you for not realizing that 'having a clue' is a reference to that South Park episode where the Hardly Boys have similar 'clues' in searching for the true culprit of 9/11 (Or the Urinal Deuce).
Good, I'm not the only one who was waiting for a "raging clue" cutaway.
Then this thing would be called the Invasion Of The Time Traveling Samurai Sluts From Hell (From The Future), because this thing is from the late 80s. You can tell by the high production values.
So if anything, maybe South Park references this movie in the episode that came out more than 10 years later. Trey Parker is a huge admitted Japanophile, after all (look at aaaaall theeese teeeepeeeees!)
Now *there's* a less painfully-obvious reference for ya! I yell ya, Joe...there's nothing sadder than a sad Japanese man (ooh, I did it again!)
These are the best kind of Sluts!
Oow shit, Ghost Dog shots being fired.
Chu En Ginsberg?
Why the hell is this porno making references to the 1960's BBC radio comedy "Round the Horne"
This makes no sense
I would totally watch a Toshiro Mifune porno (directed by Nagisa Oshima if possible).
On the one hand, I think Mifune porn would be hot as hell, like him. On the other, he'd probably just look stern and scratch his chest through most of the film and then very quickly strike and cause everyone else to cum, leaving us amazed but unsatisfied sexually.
Oh boy, sounds tasty!
There's an exclamation point in the movie's title, so you know it's good.
I like slingshot thongs. Aside from that, though, this film doesn't appear to be as entertaining as its title would lead one to believe. I was expecting "Samurai Zombie Nation" levels of absurdity. Where's my Naked Zombie Sean Connery?!
There is a pussy you forgot to censor.But,I guess blip doesnt mind if theres only mild petting on screen.
I think Lloyd was judging me
Lloyd is always judging, even when you can't see him...
All Asian women are sluts anyway
I like to eat a lot of dicks though with my racist lack of humor
Learn proper English, or was that just they way they taught it in the ghetto.
You only review movies like this so people can watch black boxed porn, and you probably wonder why people loathe you nowadays.
that guy in the porn sounds like Dan Aykroyd
What's up with the little red pixel in the middle of the video? I swear it's not my monitor, it's actually in the video. When I scroll up and down I see it stays where it is in the video, in the middle.
I had hoped this would get Snobbed ever since it came up in Bad News Spoony's review of Lethal Games. I am a tad disappointed at no Linkara cameo. It would have been great to have. Especially if he was still listing off titles in T. Bone's filmography that he didn't mention in past videos.
Apparently the only actual Asian woman in the movie isn't even one of the titular samurai sluts. I'm not sure if that's better or worse.
Maybe if it was a bit more blatantly offensive it would have been South Park funny. Still, the parts where it Snobbed itself was really weird.
Man, live action Taimanin Asagi was weirder than I thought it would be...
And for those of you who get the joke I'm making, there actually is a live action adaptation as of a few days ago:
"Oriental-ese"? Really? Is this movie actually TRYING to be racist?!!? All in all, though, funny episode.
Also, is this a "Shot On Shitteo" movie? Because it sure looks like it.
The answer is "yes". The movie was trying extremely hard to be extremely racist. Because pointing out when you're doing something stupid automatically makes it not stupid.
meh it's not too racist, there's worse out there.
Brad Can you do something extra fun maybe the shinning for a snob episode?
I couldn't tell for sure if Brad was joking or not, but I might as well explain it anyway: In the scene with "Pow" and "Zap" cards, it doesn't say "HAT" it says "HAI" as in someone doing a karate chop while yelling "hiya!"
This is one of these curious instances where I'm not sure if Brad was serious or actually joking. ^^
To be fair to Brad, that cross stroke on the bottom of the capital I was a bit easy to miss with the spinning card and the obscured accent 'illustration'
While this was probably not a particularly wise idea on the studio's part to approve, I did find myself laughing at the fourth wall jokes you showed. Also, I did a mild double take when I recognized one of the actors. I did not know he's been in that long.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, while I didn't laugh, they were somewhat amusing and the delivery of them was far better than what you'd expect from a porno.
That actress was way hotter when doing the fourth wall jokes. That or I have very odd sexual kinks.
Haven't watched it yet, but I'm making a prediction that he'll reference Biker Mice from Mars at some point
This actually looks like a pretty fun porn! The acting and writing could have been much, MUCH worse. And Lloyd looked so disinterested as to appear to be a taxidermy cat until it was finally too much for him. Great episode, Mr. Jones! You make my day before I have to slog off to work.
The asian Tina Turner comment really got me ROFL, funnier then when you mention in your past video "Debbie does Dallas" on the guys looked like a 70s Howard Stern
Hey, Brad! I happen to LIKE Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai, thank you very much! Well, I think I do. Maybe. It's pretentious as hell, but I still enjoyed most of it.
What's your real opinion on the movie?
I like Ghost Dog. If you read the reference in the episode as an insult towards it, that wasn't the intent. I only referenced it because I wanted to reference another samurai movie.
Oh. So was that cough at the end... just a cough?
This WAS a good crossover review until the guest left at 17 mins in. The Snob just couldn't carry iut on his own.
I would like to make a recommendation for a review:
Casino Royal 1967
That, in my opinion, is the worst movie on earth. It is so bad that I haven't seen it in a year and I still have a headache from it. Sure I've seen some bad stuff on this show, but Casino Royal 1967 definitely earns the reward for the worst spy spoof in history.
As for this review, I agree that Elton John should stay out of the porn business. He also should have stayed out of Lion King, he was way too good to be in that piece of crap.
Also for all you choir students out there who were inspired by the Lion King as kids, just remember that you'll never be as good as Elton John; there isn't a singer in todays music that can live up to his perfection, in fact it is my theory that the reason why we hate most of todays music is because none of it lives up to the unreachable standard Elton John established, the Lion King has sown that standard into the minds of children and has thus ruined the social impact that music once had on our society.
Oh... and getting back on topic, I look forward to seeing your next video Brad, personally I think you don't get the attention nor the credit you deserve for the amazing work you do.
Seriously though, I've considered buying 4 copies of Casino Royal 1967 just so I can give them to people that I think deserve 2 hours of psychological torment... and I have a good list of people who would be gullible enough to fall for it; I'd just walk up and say "Here's a free movie, enjoy." and they would go home and watch it and their brains will ooze in a molten mess out of their ears.
Personally, I think if there's one guy with the mental capacity to give a solid review on Casino Royal 1967, it's you Brad.
The Nostalgia Critic would spend half the review screaming and wouldn't properly deliver the impact that the movie has on the viewer.
The Nostalgia Chick would go into far too much detail into the movies many plot holes, and wouldn't be able to fully comprehend the billions of things that make the movie unenjoyable, and would thus skip over them; and even if she didn't do that, her style wouldn't be affective in illustrating the impacts that the movie has on it's audience.
The only guy I know who has the style, the guts, and the mental capability to review Casino Royal 1967, is The Snob. And frankly, Casino Royal 1967 deserves The Snob: it is not popular enough to get Nostalgia Critic, and it's not simple enough to get the Nostalgia Chick. It NEEDS The Snob.
Then again, I'm not sure I want to see Brad suffer by having him watch Casino Royal 1967... I mean I know he's seen much much worse (for instance, Salo or the 120 days of sodum), but I'm not sure he is fully prepared for the pain induced by Casino Royal 1967... I think it would be a challenge for him.
It makes me ask myself "Just how good is this guy? Is there anything out there... that can actually break him? This... this might do it."
I'm serious, seeing Brad do Casino Royal 1967 is like watching Godzilla vs King Ghidorra, Alien vs Predator, Santa vs Jesus, Peter vs Chicken, Rocky vs Apollo. to me it would be the fight of the century.
I understand the movie has a small fanbase, but every positive outlook I've seen of it has gone something like "I dunno... I just like it."
I have to admit a few scenes of it were entertaining, but only slightly... very slightly... almost not entertaining but at least the scenes are better than the rest of the film.
Let me be clear on something, the few moments of humor in Casino Royal 1967 are less funny than the moments of humor one would see on an episode of Gilligan's Island.
The film is not weird, it's just stupid as fuck and makes absolutely no sense. There were times where I felt like I was watching a spoof of a badly written LSD induced porn sketch rather than watching a Bond Spoof. You could make a spoof of Casino Royal 1967 and it would be undoubtedly more entertaining than the actual movie itself.
But you don't have to review it if you don't want to. I'm just making a suggestion.
Are there seriously guys who come on to this website and try to bash The Snob? Who the hell bashes The Snob?
The Snob is a man I respect; he's a respectable critic and every video I've seen of his has made me smile. When I come home from a crappy day at school I watch a Snob review and it turns my day from bad to good.
Come on, this guy doesn't deserve criticism. Take your anger out on something that deserves it, like Disney, or Broadway, or anything else that benefits slutty choir girls (I.E. all choir girls).
1. Trolls and vocal opponents bash the Snob.
2. Enough with the musical hate. We get the point. What does it have to do with "Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell"?
Well sam, I'll give you 3 reasons why my comment was relevant:
1) Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell didn't really include that many "sluts". It included Asian girls, but no sluts. If you want to see real sluts, go see a chorus concert at your nearest highschool/college. Chorus girls are all slutty succubae; so if this movie's about sluts, someone might as well bring up choir girls.
2) I was trying to offer alternate suggestions as to who people should hate, because I wanted to show Brad the respect and dignity he deserves.
Now sam, I have a question for you, why do you keep bashing my comments? I know, I obsessively hate choir girls, and French people, and Lion King. You don't have to point it out, that makes me feel inclined to keep talking about it in response to your comment, and that makes me look like a jackass....
The acting in this was trying to contest Superhuman Samurai Cybersquad in terms of how utterly awful and cheap it was.
Totally unrelated comment to this video, but I was wondering if any of you guys remember which episode Brad mentioned that the more beautiful music an exploitation movie has, the more sick and twisted it is (hinting towards Cannibal Holocaust)
Oh, hey! It's Captain Quirk from Sex Trek III: The Wrath of Bob. Long time no see.
Though you gotta admit, at least Mr. Bone had the good grace to attempt SOME humor in this movie, especially that Bimbo-san
I like it when my porn star is a smartass
Well at least the film has something close to a "plot" unlike Granny Bangers which according to research is just middle-aged women in shitty wigs getting railed in a maintenance shack.
Good God. I was shown this movie in junior high health class. in 1998...
Sorry if this has been posted earlier, but this is essential "turkish exploitation music". There might might have been more fitting vids to post this to, but theyre a re not recent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXg4aywDkWc just wondering whats youre thoughts on this song?
Lol, what an uber-offensive piece of crap!!! And to think it actually has the gall to try a little meta on its poor audience!
Aw, I was about to say how impressive it was to keep Lloyd's attention for the duration of the episode.
I love how Snob totally breaks character when Lloyd runs off. "Well, Apparent- Aw.. where ya goin? ...oh right, im recording... Well apparently..."
Other movie John T. Bone made:
Buttmasters, Layin' Down the Law, The Bimbo, Naughty Neighbors, The Ultimate Squirting Machine 1 & 2, Sexcalibur, A Fistful of Bimbos, Sergeant Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gang Bang, Blow for Blow, Garden of Eatin', Satin Angel, Images of Desire, Harry Horndog 26, Quickies, The Adventures of Dick Black the Black Dick (which sounds like an alternate title to Black Angus), Fuck Jasmin, The British Are Coming, Double Penetration 2, Fantasy Chamber, Gang Bang Cum Shots 2, Basix, All I Want For Christmas is a Gang Bang, Deep Obsession, ETV, Who Reamed Rosie Rabbit (which Brad later reviewed), Starbangers 5 & 6, Cum Rain Cum Shine, Mind Fuck, Top Debs 4: Sex Boat, Punk Ass, The Baroness, Ubangis on Uranus, Blowin' the Whistle, Dirt Bags, Blondes, Lez'be Friends.
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.