This is actually a pretty good movie by all accounts.
Loved Enter the Dragon and all the ninja movies from Canon. They introduced me to ninjas before the Turtles did. My brother and I would re-enact the fight scenes with toy ninja weapons. Ah, the 1980's.
Thanks this is one of my favorites.
How could this happen to me? -weeps-
Because everything's better with ninjas. My major disappointment with "Citizen Kane" is that it didn't have ninjas. Alfred Hitchcock was supposedly a great director. BUT NOT ONE of this movies had ninjas. If "The Passion of the Christ" had had ninjas, it would've been a classic.
But seriously--or as seriously as I get around here--the Snob needed a break from Christian movies (though I hope he does "The Robe" sooner than later). And besides, Golan-Globus deserves to be dumped on. They made such cinematic garbage as "Masters of the Universe" and "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. No amount of ninjas could've saved those movies.
And MOTU could have used Ninjor!
Someone needs to get a movie with Kirk Cameron fighting ninjas while saving Easter from the Ice Cream Bunny.
The Mcguffin: The swaddling cloth
2016 will be the best Snob year yet with more Christian films, ninjas, Italian horror, and maybe another round or two of WTF Hollywood!
Ah, Cannon. The ultimate guilty pleasure. Thank you Brad
I've felt a little bad when the husband died, he never had the chance to grow that mustache, no one should be denied the chance of growing a mustache!
This is going to sound dumb and whiny, but I love reviews like this more than reviews like Old Fashioned because Old Fashioned is just terrible in a non-funny way to me. Once I tried to show a friend Lupa's Incredible Bulk review, and he said he couldn't take it because it was like watching the death of film. I didn't understand what he meant until the Pure Flix reviews came. Those movies feel like they were written by Norman Bates (Mother told me never to leave myself alone with a woman because they lead me to sin...) and directed by Ed Gein (or some alien wearing human skin who doesn't understand how humans act). I like terrible movies like 80s cheese and pornos with shitty aliens. It's good to go back to normal because at least when something like I Spit On Your Grave is disturbing, it's because the director intended it, and not because they seem to have some warped view on how you respect women by acting as if you cannot control your urge to rape them while also telling women that kids are their only function on this earth. Or how everything can be a representation of Jesus if you just break logic into 10,000 pieces.
Woah, went on a bit of a rant there.
Also, love Kung Tai Ted and evil ninja Bruce. Those make ninja reviews worth it every time for me.
"I want my black ninja now, Daddy!"
And to start things of with reviewing movies distributed by Cannon Films, we have a martial arts movie that was NOT directed bu Godfrey Ho. Also, shouldn't "back to normal for you" mean you should be reviewing a porno? =P
The only Cannon films I've seen are Superman IV and Masters of the Universe, two movies where they only used half the budget to film them, and used the other half on their own garbage. Seriously, Warner Bros. gave Cannon $40 million to make Superman IV, and they did it with $17 million.
If I want a white ninja, I'll stick with Storm Shadow from G.I. Joe, thank you very much.
Ninja license? Really? Last I recalled, Batman didn't get a ninja license in Batman Begins.
8:43- You weren't the only one seeing Crazy Grandpa in that guy.
At least the Hook character in Pan is better than the on in this movie.
17:04- I was also thinking the Ninja Turtles, and it would be weird to call them Teenage Mutant ASSASSIN Turtles.
19:54- That was a really awkward commercial for The Nostalgia Critic to review.
22:05 to 22:17- I remember seeing this death scene on YouTube years ago, and since your review of Karate Girl, I wanted you to review this movie because of this scene.
Thanks, Brad, for reviewing something 1,000 times better than Old Fashioned.
And they say Ninja III: The Domination is the silly one.
I hope this means the Snob will review Cobra, the most 1980s film in existence.
Midnight Heat is the most 1980's film in existence, and don't you forget it.
Which Midnight Heat? The porno film or Brad Jones' shot-on-shitteo movie from 2007? Because if it's the Brad Jones movie, I agree.
I mean Brad's movie of course.
If Snob's reviewing a Stallone film do one of his comedies such as Oscar or Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! That will get the blood pumping
I'm still waiting for a review of Rhinestone. He might do it in the next Musical March (in September).
This is my favorite episode ever. Ninjas are so badass bro!! Its like pow pow WHACK poof I'm gone beatch! !! Fuck ya
Ninja's aren't real, just a...Shit, how does that go?
Ninjas are real. I should know, I am one.
I'm kind of amazed this didn't wind up becoming an unofficial Django title in Italy.
Who knew the Cannon Group had bought the rights for Dan McNinja's autobiography?
REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!
Brad... how good is to see Snob flirt back to actionexploitatiion! We need a Lorenzo Lamas special (the REAL Pierre Jirby of the 90s)
I am hoping and praying for much more Snobbery on Ninja films!
PinkNinjaJumpsuit approved...however, in my heart of hearts Pierre Kirby, that man of the seven Asian seas who is more legend than real, I long for a B rated substitute casting of him in some obscure Ninja film that only exists in my hellish nightmares involving Rum, The Karate Kid Part 2 hand drum scene and 47 Ronin covered in the blood of their fallen brothers. But otherwise, it was a nice review.
This is one of the movies that came out when we had relatives working at a movie theatre, and we could see these movies for free. This movie was definitely worth the price of admission.
Oh Brad, how could you leave out of the funniest moments in the movie? When Cole yells "DON'T LET HER GOOOOOOOO!"
Stephen Hayes: The Autobiography
This was NINJATASTIC! I couldn't shake the need for the Miami Connection soundtrack while watching this: "Against the ninjaaaaa~" Especially with the ruffians at the dock: "Hanging with the TOUGH GUYS!" Honestly I was hoping for the death scene in Karate Girl, but Bruce's over-the-top dying was just as good ;) And poor Kung Tai Ted's streak of bad luck...
This movie along with American Ninja were among the catalysts of childhoold weeaboo-ness (waaaay before "weeaboo" was the thing... because pre-internet 80's) that catapulted my older brothers into taking up interest in martial arts and myself into general Japanese arts and culture. My 2nd brother especially took a liking to samurai movies (just don't bring up 47 Ronin or else he'd go into a Bat-Credit-Card frenzy).
I see now where Tarantino got Kill Bill wrong...he should have had David Carradine wear a white ninja outfit and go around and kill everyone...that would have made it a timeless classic.
But enough about Ninjas already, you are making me ecstatic with your well written riff track...I may have to change my name to LavenderNinjaJumpsuit, but then again...I am feeling like pirates need some love in the eighties, outside of Goonies and a Disney theme park, where did they go? They may have thwarted the villains of this movie with hooks. Oh wait--hang on a moment...;)
I've met Mike Stone. I attended a seminar he held when I still took karate. Interesting guy, went off on a tangent about writing poetry while he was channeling spirits.
"you know tee hee from live and let die? lets make the villains henchman the opposite of that"
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.