You have failed me for the last time Blip.
Please don't make me go back in the box. :'(
I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! WHY DON'T YOU PACK YOUR BAGS? WE'LL LEAVE TONIGHT! I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS- Geico.
Well look what I just found:
Apparently there's another Brad Jones who was 'Ray Reynolds' in The Identical, and Rotten Tomatoes mixed up the two.
He's mentioned this a few times before.
Is that Mister X on the cover?!
Brad, just to point this out for a future joke, or hell if you come across a bad movie that rips off Roots, or if you do an April Fools episode where you actually review Roots; in that series, one of the slave owners was played by Robert Reed. The same Robert Reed who played the father in The Brady Bunch. I guess that explains why they had all of those kids, LOL
This movie makes 12 Years a Slave look like the funniest movie ever made. Christ! Where did you find this shit Brad?
Hearing Ted Cassidy's voice, I can't help but not picture Brainiac from Challenge of the Superfriends, which he did the voice of. Black Manta, too.
I know what this movie's real problem was: the title. They should have named it after the main character. You know, like Django. You gotta admit that Sunshine has a nice ring.
Are you the black Django or the white Django?
Both. I'm the black albino Django.
Brad, do you think this is worse than Nukie?
Not by a long shot.
At least Nukie's black characters actually had more black people (can't really call them "actors") playing them...but then again, Nukie also had Nukie.
Fuck it, this movie wins. Nukie: worse than a white man as an albino black man.
If it's not worse than Nukie, would it be in the top ten worst movies you've reviewed?
I'd have to think about that. It's certainly one of the dreariest. The only thing that would keep it from being in the worst is that Ted Cassidy was legitimately really damn good in it.
Man what a terrible looking movie. At least the horse gag at the end was funny
Was that VHS cover made a while after the original film? It has this odd late 80's/early 90s quality versus the movie's shitty '70s/early '80s grain
The VHS cover oddly reminds me of the cover of the SNES game "Phalanx".
Interesting. Because the cover looks like the box from a gay porno... from the 80's.
Okay, the "where's your horse?" stinger was actually pretty good.
What in the wide, wide world o' sports is a-goin' on here??
This is definitely the WORST blaxploitation film ever made, solely by definition.
Until he's free from TGWTG
Stay strong, brother. We'll make it through this together.
#FreeBrad is about how Brad Jones is the only contributor on TGWTG that still has integrity in what he creates. The Nostalgia Critic doesn't get that his popularity was driven by the content he reviews, not his ridiculous character. NC will only cultivate his own insular fans with his buffoonery, while Brad just makes stuff that he thinks is funny or scary. The TGWTG website has brought on so many new people I would say that Brad's presence on it is getting a smaller share of the page time. Being further associated with Linkara doesn't do any good for him either. I've heard a rumor that Brad is talking with RedletterMedia, If he thinks he still needs a web partner, I hope he can convince them to take him on. But in the end, Brad does what he feels is best, that's why we like him.
Another use of my name to try to get attention for a painfully forced meme. Sure.
Did nobody ban you yet? They should get on that.
Since when does he need to be free from TGWTG?
He doesn't, it's all one guy trying to drum up attention by faking agreement by using other people's names.
Either way, I come directly here to watch Brad's stuff. The only other TGWTG affiliated (or possibly still previously affiliated) person I have watched in over a year is Spoony, and that directly at his site. So meh.
I never really got the use of that site as a hub anyway.
Worst Luke Cage film ever!!!
By the way Brad.....Violent Shit is back...as a Giallo film!!!
The title card artist blew the chance to draw Lurch as a slave owner.
Oh wow, this Chris Robinson guy is the SAME GUY who lost $100,000 on Beanie Babies:
I remember watching this documentary a couple years ago.
He made his family eat happy meals until they were sick, to get Beanie Babies. LOL what a nut... If he was smart, he would have just made a YouTube show where he "reviewed" every Beanie Baby he purchased, it would pay for itself!
I dunno. Given his history, he would probably do the reviews under the guise of an albino Chinese man.
Soon we will acquire the means to create, in our own image, a new god. The pieces are in place we need only the will to move them.
With time and effort the hedonists of DARPA and the Home Shopping Network will consume themselves in a macabre orgy, rendering the masses vulnerable and confused. It is from these ashes we will rise as liberators to the brave new world - ambassadors for audacious truism of personal hygiene.
"The point in history at which we stand is full of promise and danger. The world will either move forward toward unity and widely shared prosperity - or it will move apart."
-Franklin D Roosevelt
Stop using my name to post your stupid shit, asshole.
Wait, what? I'm so confused.
That awkward moment when the first LloydFan (the fake one) writes a post so pretentious and vague that it makes no sense whatsoever.
The second LloydFan is way cooler.
For some reason this reminds me of those old movies that spend so much time on nature shots that you wonder if the crew were trying to make a doc, but that producers said 'screw that, we're making a movie.'
(if you want to use that for another one of these movies be my guest)
While watching this, I kept expecting Travis Crabtree to be activated again.
Wow, the whole Albino black man plot makes me think of this terrible romance novel I heard about.
Basically a Southern Bell has two love interests and the evil one kidnaps the other (the one she truly loves of course), dyes his skin black, and sells him of as a Slave...
Also for some reason the book cover has a picture of Lincoln on it...
I swear with some ideas people have.
that guys hair is one step away from the cardinal in Highlander: The Source, and somehow he manages to have even less dignity.
His hair makes him look like Roy Batty from Blade Runner. Except much, much dumberer.
You know what...take another listen to the theme song, and then go listen to "Oh My Love" from Goodbye Uncle Tom. Not only is there the built-in irony of a heartstring-pulling ballad about sunlight and new days placed over a depressing slavery story, but there are also passages in the harmonic structure that are very similar between the two songs. Considering that Goodbye Uncle Tom came out the year before Black Rage, I have a sneaking suspicion that Black Rage was made as a cash-in to Goodbye Uncle Tom, which is odd considering that Tom flopped at the time.
His output rate is astounding. He is one of the few that really seems to work his ass off creating videos.
This film makes me wonder... Is the Brad in the title card supposed to be an albino black man in this one? I mean, I don't know how you could make it so you don't wonder that considering how terrible the movie itself did it, but I think he colored his shaved hair more white than normal. So... good joke I guess?
But then again his facial hair is fully black so I guess not. False alarm guys.
Oh no! is he gonna talk a lot of smack and loot liquor stores?!
Oh, then we're safe....
"Most racist cover of all time". I didn't even think about that, my thoughts immediately went to gay porn.
Long time lurker first time poster here and just wanted to say picked up my copy of nudies rudies and crudies and was the bet dvd purchase all year thanks so much for all you do at team snob and keep up the good work and will we ever see a return of the greatest amercian hero theme? Anyway lots of love from up north in Canada and keep up the good work eh?
Holy sweet christ, this film is one of the most poorly shot, bleak, offensive (in premise and in quality) pieces of shite I've ever fucking seen. That you had to watch this disaster is a brave enough feat, to make a video about it is even braver. Good work.
"Coming soon Samuel L. Bronkowitz presents, Sunshine in ...Boss Albino and The Legend of Albino Charlie."
Thomas Edison did not fucking invent the motion picture. A variety of mostly French inventors made the most significant contributions after the spark that was Muybridge's work.
Whoa, easy there Oancitizen!
It's not Oancitizen, grmpf didn't try to date rape anyone.
Actually, this film is considered a masterpiece in France.
no! no it's not.
Black Rage: The Jake Norvell Story
Is this where we find out the Cinema Snob is an albino black man?
*dramatic music intensifies*
That's going to get real awkward when Brian finds out.
"... Say, Brad; Want to come help me with some chores this weekend? For the next thirty years..."
I want to see The Cinema Snob review The Cinema Snob.
Brad, your ability to find the most obscure and horrible movies to ever exist never ceases to amaze me! I once thought the MS3TK guys were good at digging up old crap, but you are master. Did you double major in college in film and archaeology by any chance?
I agree it's not as bad as slavery. In fact I'd give slavery one and a half stars out of ten!
Well Brad,now you have to make a movie where you play an albino half indian half mexican half chinese manly looking woman.
Meh, Edison was such a massive asshole, he probably intended for this movie to be released all along.
No need to hide behind fake names, Tesla. I know it's you.
so this is basically the autobiography of slaver-Brian?
How come I can't share this on facebook???
I cannot fuckin' believe you didn't do at least one "Roy Batty"-based reference joke each and every time when there was a close-up shot of that not-White-but-White dude's face. What a completely wasted opportunity, because the dude looks sooo Roy Batty it's not even funny.
Haha! That is true! He looks very much like Roy Batty. It must be the haircut... and also the fact that he is white.
And I thought "Stanley" was Depressing....
Great Review,Brad....If you want a good Blaxploitation movie to review,Might I suggest "The Black Streetfighter" or "TNT Jackson"?
Hell,Even "The Black Gestapo" was'nt that Horrible a film to watch
Compared to this....
Okay the number one thing I was offended by was the cover...simply because who are those people on the cover!?!? None of these people were in the movie.
I guess the guy getting revenge was supposed to be Levy or whatever the fuck his name was (on the cover). It was not the same guy in the movie!
"We don't All Look alike."
-Samuel L. Jackson
Which WE DON'T lol!
Some of the older archived videos of 2009 were brought over from the youtube account before thecinemasnob.com was created, so please forgive the lesser video quality of such as some did not transfer well.