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Snob Riffs! "Learn About Living: Never Talk to Strangers"

5/26/2015

36 Comments

 
The Safety Pets teach us about buckling up, as well as not letting bears in the house or swimming with crocodiles, because they're strangers!
36 Comments
RBB
5/26/2015 08:15:08 am

At least the camel didnt sell him cigarettes!

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Craig Martin
5/26/2015 08:27:44 am

Bah, I learned all I know about talking to strangers from Rick Springfield.

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Roger Moore
5/26/2015 09:21:07 am

YES!

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Simonon
5/26/2015 02:18:56 pm

Oh, no, that was...Huh. Nevermind. Really thought it was Hall & Oates for a minute.

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Radamanthe Nemes
5/26/2015 08:37:08 am

But...Too smart for strangers featured pantless animals already warning us about the danger of strangers..now i learn i can't trust pantless animals anymore? This world is getting so cynical.

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Radamanthe Nemes
5/26/2015 08:44:25 am

And why do educational video about abusive strangers have the catchiest songs?

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Millennium Hand and Shrimp
5/26/2015 09:10:59 am

Disregarding abductions, isn't something like 8 out of 10 cases of sexual abuse against kids done by a close friend of the family or someone at their school?

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sbkMulletMan
5/26/2015 10:18:20 am

As well as an actual family member. It's disturbingly common. And this is why it's best to learn stuff like this from actual psychologists instead of a pandering puppet show with catchy songs to sugar-coat reality.

When the Uncle Ernie segment from "Tommy" is a more reliable and honest safety warning than the entirety of a safety video for kids, you know you made a really crappy safety video for kids.

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Joachim Murat
5/26/2015 10:33:03 am

To be fair, that segment was clearly just the director pointing a camera at Keith Moon in his home for 10 minutes.

LDK10380193810
5/26/2015 06:41:16 pm

i'm pretty sure it is the same amount for Abductions too.

and what ever happened to a "stranger is just a friend you haven't met?" plus that ending with "if your parents/teachers introduce them to you" then they are not a stranger!

so if my teacher introduced me to a serial killer, what should i do?

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Daemian Lucifer
5/26/2015 09:14:05 am

Help your friends stay safe with good old fashioned cockblock.Cockblock,being the staple of good friendship since 1969.

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The Pope
5/26/2015 09:55:38 am

Hey Brad, think you and the boys will ever give the Daredevil series a look? It's part of the MCU, but it's a gritty street violence show that doesn't pull any punches; I figure it'd be right up your alley.

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Matthew
5/26/2015 09:56:03 am

What town is this? I'm glad you asked. It's Petropolis.

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sbkmulletman
5/26/2015 10:12:23 am

Wait, I recognize those illustrations...holy shit, we actually HAD the book for this when I was a kid! I never realized it was so racist against sentient animals. But then again, the Island of Naboombu itself was racist against humans with their "No Peopling Allowed" laws.

I guess the real moral back then was to only mingle with your own kind and stay away from them dirty animals/stay away from them filthy peoples. Well fuck that: if I wanna play checkers with a Capybara, then god dammit, I'm gonna play checkers with a Capybara! Our unorthodox friendship is more important than your antiquated bigotry, Golden Books!

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LucasChad
5/26/2015 11:38:55 am

Brad should riff one of those lame Three Stooges cartoons from the 1960s!

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sbkMulletMan
5/26/2015 02:56:51 pm

Ugh, when they were robots, for whatever reason?

Goddamn Hanna-Barbera.

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LivinIsntEasy86
5/26/2015 12:01:27 pm

Ah.. Stranger Danger... I remember this bullshit being pumped into my head as a child. Most kidnappings and molestations happen with people the kid knows though, which sucks.
Maybe next time, Brad, you could try out a Little Audrey or Little Lulu cartoon.. That'd be fun ^___^

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Andie
5/26/2015 07:49:03 pm

When was the Little Lulu cartoon made? I vaguely remember watching it when I was a kid, but I was born in '93, and I don't think it was made in the early '00s? o.o

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RandyPan
5/26/2015 12:23:11 pm

Somehow, without a midget in a pig costume singing about child molestation, the message is lost...

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Robert Carey
5/26/2015 02:27:00 pm

Holy Christ, Dr. Seuss didn't have this much weird-ass shit in his drawings

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das
5/26/2015 06:12:11 pm

People are strange when you're a stranger

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Lermont
5/26/2015 08:56:57 pm

I take it this was made before statistics showed that the majority of crimes against kids are perpetrated by a relative or a close friend of the family.

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TNC
5/27/2015 11:04:53 am

So what do we have to do to get Brad to try the new Wendy's Crispy Dill Chicken sandwich?

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Samuel link
5/27/2015 01:26:48 pm

this town is obviosly Animal Crossing

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Andrew
5/27/2015 04:28:51 pm

On the seatbelts part, I would have gone with, "And if you forget and your family dies, just remember you can skip seeing them in the afterlife and wake up to be with the boy you dated for a year because he writes a song for you."

/ Yeah, "If I Stay" was kind of awful in that way.

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ldk108301831
5/27/2015 04:58:09 pm

bullshit. If I stay was a great movie.

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groverfield
5/27/2015 05:09:00 pm

The end of this reminded me of this old thing things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5x2xBa8p0A

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LloydFan
5/27/2015 06:05:08 pm

A lot of children's songs have a strange obsession with crocodiles. I remember one from my youth that taught kids to "never kiss a crocodile". Yeah.

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Bill Casey
5/28/2015 05:57:00 am

I remember when rock was young...

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johntheguy link
5/28/2015 03:13:01 am

Funny stuff

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Paul D.
5/28/2015 05:56:32 am

I love riffs to stuff like this. :D

One constructive criticism for you Brad: have you considered/tried experimenting with audio levels at all?

I ask only because your audio when it comes in seems a bit jarring and loud compared to the vid's audio.

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DontMindMeNow
5/30/2015 03:58:43 am

Did the boy in the first half sound suspiciously like Linus Van Pelt to anyone else?

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SUPERSOUP
6/2/2015 08:41:47 am

I remember personal responsibility

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LloydFan
6/2/2015 08:55:24 pm

Why should I trust this movie? Aren't these all strangers?

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Cripes
6/5/2015 05:44:58 pm

The bear in that still is the creepiest thing... it's giving me shivers. :( I need a (trustworthy) adult

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SOHR Minnesota
7/14/2015 05:03:58 am

Wow, I never thought that I would say this but, Winnie the Pooh and his Animal pals are not the worst children's characters to warn us about the dangers of strangers and child abuse. Compared to this public service announcement, I think I see Winnie is a better teacher on the dangers of strangers and the like.

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