With that beard Brian, you can cosplay as one of the characters from the film!
LOL! I love 'animal revenge' stories. I'd be the same way too..... yelling "Go Moby!" and waving a #TeamWhale pennant :D
As for 'The Gifting' (oughtta have a horror movie title):
You crazy fucker! I saw you preview that ugly-ass thing on Twitter..... still can't believe you gave him that.:D Poor Bri will just have to grow a ZZ-Top level beard to hide that punch-able face.... [undignified cackle].
Brad reviewed a movie called The Gift a while ago. I expected it to be a Christmas horror story, where Santa decided humanity was on the naughty list.
I'm definitely not seeing this movie. The poster terrified me.
Damn!..... a new character emerges:
"Dream Crusher Dave"
My thoughts on the film:
Despite being sold as, "the story that inspired 'Moby Dick'," this is really just a run of the mill survival story -- think "Alive" on a whaling boat. Aside from the whale and conflict between the captain and first mate this actually bears very little resemblance to the famous story. The problem is that this story is even a highly fictionalized version of even the REAL events. The story of the Essex does read as rather interesting and should have made a good movie -- even the Wikipedia summary is fascinating -- but somehow this is rather bland, with melodrama added to heighten the emotion, or elements changed to further the parallels to Moby Dick. As examples, the whale's representation is closer to that of the book and overplayed to real life, while the crew conflict is overplayed compared to real life but underplayed to the book, and a certain post-sinking survival event needlessly changed for melodrama. Even the framing device of the cabin boy narrating to Melville years later, from what I gather, didn't happen; both said cabin boy and the first mate published their accounts which Melville later read. Most infuriating of all is actual climax, which draws a heavy-handed parallel to modern business events which falls completely flat since, near as I can tell, that also did not happen. The acting is mostly fine -- Hemsworth's accent is dodgy but his characterization is OK -- but with so many characters they all tended to blend together, so I often forgot whom was on screen unless it was Hemsworth or Cillian Murphy, as even the Captain and cabin boy blended into the background in the later scenes. Still, with all that said, as a film this is mostly just mediocre and ultimately forgettable as opposed to being downright offensive. The visuals at times are stunning, although I'd avoid the 3D version as it adds nothing to the presentation. Even with all the melodramatic moments, it does contain enough elements of humor and excitement to keep the story flowing, and there were only a few moments when it bogged down totally. If you're not bothered by a lack of historical accuracy, then you might find something here, but for me this honestly is just a lot of wasted potential.
Make sure to bring Irving to Road Chip with you.
If not can you bring him to Daddy's Home or Norm of the North?
God damn Brain, nice beard.
Was it apart of your plan to look like the lumberjack from rudolph the red nose reindeer?
Just saw a legit looking Crystal Pepsi commercial - so happy for you Brad if it's true!
A whale is not a fish, but in fact a mammal like you and me!
Excellent analysis. Your kindergarten teacher certainly did their job right.
Thanks, Mr. Science!
Well, that surprises the fuck out of me!
Bad news Dave. That sounds like it would be an amazing meme :)
Why isn't Brian flaming anymore?
His ass can only take so much...
Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz look like a young Bill Murray? Except even Peter Venkman is shaking his head at how snake-oil-salesman he comes off as. That jumper even has the snakes on it!
He looks like Brian Doyle-Murray had sex with Mr. Haney from Green Acres
All I know is that Ted Cruz has a face that screams, "Please, PLEASE!!! PUNCH ME!!!!"
A great, big bushy beard!!
i got back from seeing it and i loved it.
Being a fan of Moby Dick and knowing about the actual essex this movie did a solid for both, it kept to the actual events pretty well, the whale stalker was slightly exaggerated, but sperm whales do pull shit like that, like the famous whale MOCHA DICK who suck a ship off of brazil.
So i probably shouldnt have seen this before star wars.
not because i think star wars will blow it out of the water, but because i think star wars will be complete fucking garbage.
I don't think Star Wars will be garbage. I think it will get lots of support. lots of over amped praise and then people will realise it's not actually a Star Wars. It's like the Star Trek thing. I like Abrams' Star Trek movies, but they are not really Star Trek . They're the replicant version of Star Trek and that's what his Star Wars is.. He's a pod person filmmaker.
Please get Irving and Dave to go see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip. It would be hilarious. The anger, rage and pure vitriol would be high.
Please make that happen!
I know they'll probably end up seeing Force Awakens, but please Brad send them to Road Chip before they see it.