Thank you for making the trip to see this movie!! Your opinion and insight is always great!! :)
I need to see this movie now.
You were right Brad, it is the same writer.
Geez, Brad, Violet totally wanted to talk about the movie, but all that you guys talked about was how much you wanted to have sex with each-other!
Brad was totally dtf
Shhh, Brad is talking.
I love this review. I felt like I was there, The illness Violet is suffering from is the dreaded lurgy. A virus so serious it appears in no medical dictionary and for which there is no known treatment. .
Is it too much to ask for us to get a Hitman movie that actually accurately represents the games?
Apparently as much as it is to ask for a Dredd sequel, my frustrated friend =(
I feel like Hitman would be a better fit for the Dredd format than even Dredd was. Hitman's story isn't all that great, Hitman's strength has always been that of a highly skilled assassin methodically moving in for the kill, generally as cleanly and elegantly as possible.
So, rather than having some overarching movie about agent 47 and his backstory, why not have a movie of just Agent 47 fulfilling some large mission; none of this mindless shootemup campiness, and none of this forced crappy story, just 47 methodically and brutally doing what he does best, just like in the game
a video game movie that actually represents the games faithfully? what are you going to ask for next, making a anime movie that accurate as wel!?
Attack on Titan (live action), Samurai X (live action), Assassination Classroom (live action), Hellsing Ultimate (OVA's) just a few examples of stuff based of anime that were very accurate.
Violet muscled through the sickness just fine in this video. An understandable rough start, but she carried on nicely as it went along.
Dunno where the whole "crazy bitch" thing comes from though, because she's easily one of the most relaxed (even when not sick) people seen on this site. Eh, maybe some of the fans are just being typical whiny bitch-babies. Can't have a comments section without them bitch-babies.
Oh, just read some of the comments for the Terminator Genesys review, and you'll see where it all comes from.
She definitely had the wildest reception, but if I remember correctly the weirdos have pulled out their torches and pitch forks in response to any unidentified female in a video here.
Just in case you happen to read this violet...
I'm not saying by any means that people saying that shit is cool or even acceptable, but you should try not to take it to heart when you read it. There are two facts that make those asshats irrelevant.
The first is the rule of the silent majority, for every person who makes some nasty comment, there where 10 people who watched, where satisfied, and left without saying anything at all. This is the second comment I've ever made and I've been watching for years at this point.
The second is that their rage has nothing to do with you, the people leaving those comments are doing it either because they've got serious issues with women and must strike you down on that basis, or alternatively they're just trolls, shit disturbers for the sake of it.
In my humble opinion you're doing a fine job, my only complaint is that you're so bummed about the internet rage that you're letting it get in the way of just enjoying yourself and talking freely about the movie.
These jerks leaving the comments literally don't matter, we aren't here to see them, we're here to see brad, and by extension you, and that will never stop infuriating them.
Ohhhh, I did! It was kind of amusing in that "blind dog bumping into shit" kind of way.
I can't remember if it was the Genesys (can't Skynet get a proper fucking spellcheck?!) review itself or the following video with Violet, but I made a post about how any person the audience is unfamiliar with, usually a new friend....USUALLY a woman, pretty much gets a cold treatment from the whackjob portion of the fans. I guess they perceive newcomers as some outsider invading their familiar territory or some other stupid crap like that. I dunno, I don't specialize in the psychology of stupid.
And in all honesty, Violet's perfectly fine. She's certainly better than some of the passed people, and even when someone really, REALLY annoys me, (as rare as that is here) I just don't watch the video. I don't leave some stupid comment, I don't cry about it, I just practice what I preach and tell myself "Don't like it? Don't watch it!", and done. The last time that happened here was a loooong time ago.
But I gotta admit: watching people cry and shit themselves over nothing is pretty damn amusing in that circus train wreck kind of way. I'm damn-near positive that's one of the biggest reasons why Brad is so big on keeping comments opened when so many others have disabled theirs. Hell, it's sparked actual CONVERSATIONS, as opposed to the typical mindless posts that could fit on a fortune cookie paper. Oh, if only we had a better "reply" system here.
Hell, it's why I look forward to every superhero movie that has Dave in it; the commends end up better than the video (and often the movie itself). Mmmm, delicious fan-salt! Your anguish makes me strong!
@Jockslap Way more than 10, AToW it's 165 viewers to a single commenter.
And yeah, Violet's doing fine, don't know what those idiots were mad about.
@Jockslap Don't worry, she seems to be taking it fine. In fact, she and Brad seemed to find the whole thing hilarious, judging by their reaction in their 2nd video together on the site.
@ToastyMozart Holy crap, I knew 10 wasn't going to be the right number but damn was I off. It's even more insignificant than I initially gave it credit for. XD
@HazyEight Yeah, you're probably right. She's probably just not into the swing of doing videos yet, I've not done it yet but I've heard talking into a camera feels weird. I just wanted to make sure to do my part to show that most of us viewers are happy to have her here. (and I think the vitriol genuinely irritated me, so I figured I'd be constructive about that)
I am SOOOOOOOO DISAPPOINTED BY THIS!!!
What is Brad doing with that woman! He should be knee deep in guys by now! (me included)
So I moved to Springfield for nothing? And I cant find you anywhere in the city or Massachusetts!!!!
And my Vodoo doll should have made you gay by now, Brad! I am begining to believe that vodoo dolls bought online arent so good.
The fact that they were called "vodoo dolls" instead of voodoo dolls ought to have tipped you off there...
This is more of a Paul W.S. Anderson impression than Uwe Boll. And the other Hitman movie, from what I can remember it wasn't very good but it wasn't NEARLY as ridiculous as this one and seemed to be truer to the source material.
Honestly I kept "awww-ing" through this review, because Violet and Brad are fucking adorable.
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that enjoyed this movie :)
Nah.... why have fumbling foreplay with "Hitman 47", when you can have the full star-spangled orgasm with "John Wick"....
All I remember from that movie is that a whole lot of people die because someone killed his dog and fucked up his car... It was great.
Summer colds really do suck. I just got over one, too.
In regards to the 48:10 mark: Thanks so much for mentioning me! (Yes, I am the person she's talking about.)
(Well, not the person who called her 'the annoying creepy bitch from the terminator video', I'm the responder she's referring to.)
*Captain Picard Facepalm* Give us a call at some point. 1 - 800-950 - 6264
Or if in the euro zone 0808 808 8000
So which had the better Quinto death scene, this or season three of Hannibal?
Ahem, that is VEEP's Dan Bakkedahl, thank you very much. :p
For some reason when they talked about Quinto's character, I kept thinking of Cyborg Barry from Archer.
I knew the movie was gonna suck dongs when i saw agent 47 KICKED A RIFLE AND MADE IT GO OFF.
Because according to film makers, professionals use guns with trigger systems made in 1836.
I love you Violet. Give it time others will too.
I like Violet. She seems really nice, and I hope he sticks around the site for a long time :)
I take it the trailers weren't worth discussing. You guys must have gotten a bunch of the same ones.
I for one don't blame New Jillian for being sick in this video shes clearly not yet accustomed to the demanding reviewer lifestyle, but don't worry once that internet reviewer money starts pouring in you can finally start paying for the 5 star accommodations afforded to the rest of team snob. Examples include the personal assistant that writes preview titles on Sarah arm for her, Brians luxury beard groomer and of course the small team of people whose job is to get beaten by Dave after he watches a Tyler perry film. Of course if shes really lucky she might start getting starring film leads in epics like sharknado like a certain friend of Brad's who I am not tacky enough to name drop here but I digress, Hang in their New Jillian you'll do just fine!
Jillian is still on the website.
She stars as Chloe in the breakout hit, "Lloyd". So honestly I don't think she'll stick around much longer. She'll probably go to Hollywood and become the voice actress for Harley Quinn or something.
What do you mean Jillian's not on the site anymore? Does that mean no more Tequila and Bonetti?
Oh good! I thought I was the only one who hated that crazy bitch named Brad! XD
I hate how they take a game that is all about being stealthy, using disguises, and trying to make thing's look like an accident. And turn it into an all out action shitacular splosion-fest. Hitman would be hard to right a movie for because you basically just go from contract to contract without much story inbetween. They could only do the plot line of "Fighting back against the agency"
The issue is that Hitman doesn't really have a fuckin' plot, hell the best it ever got to a "story" was in Absolution. An can we PLEASE drop this bullshit of "Oh, Hitman is all about stealth and bla bla bla bla bla", the games aren't strictly about stealth, it's about giving players freedom HOW they wanna play the game. Be it trough stealth or guns blazing.
Because this movie looked like it was going to be bad, I wasn't planning on watching it. Then I saw that it was getting terrible reviews, so I definitely wasn't going to watch it. Now I've watched this video I am seriously considering watching the film.
Also, it was nice to see Violet again. I really liked her in the "Faith of Our Fathers" video.
Goddamn it! Violet and Brad are so fucking cute together! This movie sounds fucking crazy ridiculous. I just don't understand the studio...
Hey remember the last Hitman movie that failed? Let's do it again but right this time and let's hire the same fucking writer from last time! What the fuck?
Aww Violet's too nice for the weird assholes of the internet. I'm happy she and Brad seem so happy together!
Hey Brad, When are you going to post the Grease review on the main site? I went to see it on Wednesday night! It got rid of all of my depression from having watched that godawful Vacation sequel (although I did see the Shaun the Sheep movie the week after)! After Grease ended, I entertained the audience when I danced my way out of the theater. I wish John Travolta would get his groove back, but if we are going to get shit out of him, at least it is hilarious like Battlefield Earth!
So what I'm getting is it's a terrible Hitman movie, but an awesome cheesy action movie.
I like Violet, she seems to at least talk about the movies you guys go see.
Its also nice to have another female opinion.
Damn ...... I've heard of " Brad-fu" (a la Kung Tai Ted)..... but now it's the dreaded "Brad-Flu" o.O
Hope this doesn't make the rounds; Team Snob are such close buds they even share their colds ;)
WHOA. Brad, were you on cocaine or something? Cuz you're kinda hyper-energetic, nervous, and also rapid scream talking. Don't do drugs, bro.
Bro I don't know about this chick. I've seen the type. They're into you as long as the money is rollin in, but now those sweet Blip dollars dried up so she moves on to Angry Joe or somebody. Just saying. Watch out for yourself, Bradster, jus lookin out. Stay frosty.
I do like the idea that Blip folded but apparently are still paying Angry Joe, because reasons.
From Brad's description of this movie, it sounds like another perfect date night for Phelous and Lupa.
Honestly, I ain't gonna say this is a good movie, but I had some fun with it. It's closer to being based of the games "mythology" than the last one was, and trust me Brad the games are as dumb as the movie. Because in the game, you have these genetically created super assassins, cloning being an everyday thing an etc. So, it's less Terminator and more Universal Soldier in a way.
You should do a review of the original Hitman.
It seems like even though Violet was under the weather you two still had a good time. Hope you had a good time and feel better soon Violet. I don't understand the hate for her. She seems like a sweet girl. Gotta support my fellow Detroit peeps :)
Hey, for what it's worth, I think that Violet is pretty great. She brings a lot of energy to the videos, which plays off Brad's more laid-back snark better.
I like this new Violent Bread show!
[Cue visions of being chased down by Andreas Schnas spouting gibberish & wielding a baguette....]
[....Still a better love story than Twilight]
As someone who is a fan of the games, this thing was a fucking atrocity. Not only was it a bad movie on its own but it also completely missed the point of Hitman just to sell us off this cheaply thrown together Bourne Identity ripoff.
Fuck you Skip Woods you untalented fucking hack.
If by "point of the Hitman" you mean if the game was less about being played for fun and more played by some fat wanker who won't rest till he pretty much achieved silent assassin rank, than ya know what? I'll take the movie over that load of snooze fest.
It's pretty sad that the Jackal is a better Hitman movie than this piece of shit is. A Hitman movie should be imo a really dark, deep thriller, it needs to be smart and slow with its pacing, it needs to methodically show us the canonical way in which Agent 47 operates (disguises, intimidation and chirurgical assassinations). God damn it that would be so great, instead we get "Generic Action film 889".
"Deep" and "Dark thriller" what in the name of all stupid are you smocking? The Hitman games are about as B-level action movie stuff as you can get. Hell, the entire reason for the Hitman games existing is to play how YOU wanna play 'em, be stealthy or go guns blazing, so can we drop this crap about "oh, it all should be stealthy and bla bla bla bla" this isn't fuckin' Thief or Metal gear Solid where stealth is the major core of the game.
I love bad movies, but I didn't know it was gonna be THIS bad...
So I guess I should see it twice >3>
Also you guys is crazy adorbs~
Awww... =( I happen to really love the creepy annoying bitch from the Terminator video. Big fan of Violet here! <3
Can I just say that I really love the guy who is really offended that people assume Silent Assassin, the best rank and TITLE of some of the games, is the best rank for a reason? Like, it's just such a giant insult that people assume 47 is supposed to be a methodical ghost of a killer, like everything in the games tells you he is supposed to be, that he has to reply to everyone who brings it up and tell them they're TOTALLY WRONG because the game lets you break everything and kill everyone like the world's biggest bull in a china shop?
In other news, I generally agree that a Hitman movie needs to be more of a thriller. There needs to be more of a psychological aspect for it to work, even if he is a genetically engineered super-assassin and that's a fairly silly concept. But I also think they need to nod to how this is all a bit silly. I think more of a John Wick sort of humor would work for it. And, if there are prolonged action sequences, I think they also would need to be more of a John Wick sort of deal.
...A John Wick/Hitman crossover would be pretty fantastic, actually.
If by title you mean Hitman 2, then ho-boy are you wrong that game is NOT a good Hitman game. An yeah I have issues with people going about shit like "SILENT ASSASSIN RANK IS DA BEST!" because it's just a calling card for various tossers to show off, and prove how much worthless douchebags they are, by going trough insane ways to acquire it. Good job guys, you have less reasons to live than a WoW player.
You do realize that nobody is disparaging people who can't get a Silent Assassin ranking, right? They're just saying it's the best ranking. It's like you're saying that everybody who gets a 100 on a test is a douchebag when all anyone is saying is that 100 is the best you can get on a test.
Chill out! Absolutely nobody cares if you can't ace Hitman. Nobody's even saying that they CAN ace Hitman. You are projecting like an IMAX.
And I never said anything about the quality of Hitman 2. I just said that's the title. That and the fact that Silent Assassin is the ideal ranking is why people assume that 47 is supposed to act that way canonically. That is why they think that is "the point" and why they see these movies as missing the point.
"Awww, but Honey - Baby - Sweetie Pie, I HAD to give you something before you left...."
Crissakes Brad... why don't you just give her something healthier ... like a fucking Double Down?!