Brad opens up about depression and tells his story about a low point in his life, in the hopes of helping people laugh and get better.
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Daigotsurezan
3/23/2016 02:59:51 pm
Brad,
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Diabetes Safari
3/23/2016 03:04:58 pm
Thanks, man. I've been there. Happens to all of us, and openness is better for all. 4/30/2024 12:30:25 am
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HAWN91
3/23/2016 03:26:01 pm
As a man who suffers a pretty pronounced case of major depression disorder I can safely say depression of any kind is nothing to scoff at. I've wanted to just give up and end it all many times. But despite it I've kept going. And you're work has been a big help to me in easing the pain in some of the darker times of my life. So best of luck to you Brad and keep doing all the things you love to the fullest you possibly can. And maybe I'll see you again in Indy sometime. Shoot some shit about movies again. Take care buddy.
Generic Internet Commenter
3/23/2016 03:26:44 pm
I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I really hope you feel better soon, Brad.
The Hand of Onan
3/23/2016 03:34:50 pm
Yup it's Alone in the Dark from 81.
Zachary Krishef
3/23/2016 03:42:26 pm
Thank you for making this. Your videos have greatly helped me in the past and are continuing to help me.
Alex C.
3/23/2016 03:52:12 pm
Pets are the best. When you've got nothing to live for, you've got to keep going for their sake. No one will take care of them if I'm dead, so I've got to suck it up and keep going.
Davos Seaworth
3/26/2016 06:35:59 pm
It's strange. I totally get what you're saying, even though I am the exact opposite. For me, dramas about persistent and persevering people are my bread and butter. I look at these stories, be they live-action, western animation or anime, and I get my inspiration and courage from there. As you might be able to guess from my name, I'm a huge Game of Thrones fan, and I get more than a little inspiration from Davos Seaworth--a man who lost nearly everything and yet keeps going. Same goes for Tyrion and Jon and so many others.
Deva Ashera
3/23/2016 04:07:07 pm
I've been there too, Brad..if not so drastically.
Bill Casey
3/23/2016 04:14:29 pm
I have major depressive disorder and autism, and your videos make my days brighter... 11/12/2024 07:33:02 am
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Bill Casey
3/23/2016 04:17:21 pm
It can't be stressed enough that suicide does more than hurt those closest to you. It can cause life long psychological damage to them...
Nephilim
3/24/2016 12:11:13 pm
Probably, but like Brad says and I've experienced, in that moment you're so far gone you don't think of that. You just want to end the pain and can think of no other solution and nothing else registers.
Thanks for doing this. It really helps when I see producers I like making honest videos like this. I've struggled a lot with depression and anxiety, which has led to me being homeless for the past couple of months (last year I was homeless around this time for ~6 weeks).
Morhek
3/23/2016 04:43:33 pm
Thanks so much for sharing this, Brad. I don't really know what to say about the issue, so I'll leave it to others. But I was pretty moved by it.
Dylan
3/23/2016 05:09:30 pm
Awwww poor baby, Brad I know all your fans will say this but, I care for you, I know what depression is like, and I am cheering for you. give the kitty's a kiss for me~
Brian Straight
3/23/2016 05:11:35 pm
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Justin
3/23/2016 05:15:50 pm
I've been suffering from depression for a number of years now, myself, and the lows you describe are exactly what I've felt on and off. There were a number of things that happened in my life around the same time that all played some part in causing it (a combination of numerous deaths in the family along with the end of a long-term relationship). It's been really difficult to talk to anyone about it because; 1, I've been out of work; 2, said lack of work means no money for health care/medication, and 3, my immediate family is made up of the kind of folks who think depression is something that you just "get over."
I'm truly inspired by your courage in sharing your journey with depression. Finding joy in Brad's content shows your resilience. Stay strong, and if you're seeking professional care, <a href="https://www.upnt.com/physicians/md-patrick-huddleston/">Patrick Huddleston</a> could be worth exploring. You're not alone!
yo
3/23/2016 05:20:05 pm
I've always had/always will have depression. It's genetic in my family and I got diagnosed when I was a kid. I've always been ashamed that I'm too chicken to attempt suicide, but during the worst years of my life, during my identity crisis in college, I drafted many suicides notes and looked up which pills would work the best. I'm scared to live alone, because I get lost in my own mind and can't get out. Beer seems to help, though. If I drink enough, soon I don't care about anything anymore and just exist.
Addicted To Pretzels
3/24/2016 11:42:14 am
You just described my life, except for the family history part.
Jessica
3/23/2016 05:21:27 pm
I've been watching your stuff since the Video Violence review that I stumbled across on youtube one day and since then you've been my favorite online reviewer. I have great friends, but none of them see films outside of whatever blockbuster is playing so it was great to find a little corner of the internet that reviewed the fucked up movies I liked to watched. Your videos always brighten my day, and you're somebody I really look up to. I also suffer from sever anxiety and depression and especially in the last few months have sort of hit a bad place. I've been in a situation lately that's been pretty psychologically taxing and abusing and lets just say some not great thoughts have occurred to me once or twice. Things are finally starting to brighten up, but I definitely know how you feel. Seeing somebody I enjoy this much and relate to being so open about something like this really does mean a lot to me, and to a lot of other people on here. I know things are shit right now but I hope like hell they get better. Must have been terrifying to record this but if you end up reading this comment just know that it helped people
fart
3/23/2016 05:25:18 pm
This is great you can talk and joke about it, but I seriously cannot wait for what excuses the BvS apologists are going to come up with now for you not liking it.
The Dude abides
3/23/2016 05:31:41 pm
I don't suffer from depression, but I've had bad things happen to me before and the thing that I have found, for me at least, is that talking about my problems with someone helps me a ton. Brad I really thought that was a nice story and I really hope it can help people who may have someone who may need it. I also feel that out of all the people I watch online, you're the most open about yourself. I hope it gets better for you and that you keep releasing the best content online :)
JD
3/23/2016 05:32:41 pm
Videos like this are the reason you are different than some random celebrity. I have never met you, you wouldn't know me if we passed on the street (except for me yelling "holy crap, it's Brad Jones!"). But I have heard you talk off the cuff more than most of my actual friends. So despite not knowing you, I do care about you as a person more than some most people I watch online or on TV. It is the reason you started a Patreon and I signed right up. It is the reason you asked for help for Jillian and I was immediately on PayPal (best wishes to her BTW). Heck, I turned adblock off on Youtube mostly to help support you. So, while I couldn't rightly call myself a friend, I can rightly say that I care. It actually hurt me to hear about your split, and if I had seen sooner I would have straight up offered you a ride home from Detroit. Hey, 12 hours in a car isn't too bad with the XM 80's station!
LioSKETCH
3/23/2016 05:42:20 pm
Brad, you're a really strong man able to talk and laugh about past depression and suicide. Depression's a tough thing to deal with, coming first-hand from someone who's been battling it for a long while, and the fact that you can be so open with it too is humbling in a good way. You had my attention long ago when you launched your career as The Cinema Snob, my laughs and unwavering watch as Brad Jones the Midnight Screener, now you have all the respect humanity can give.
Just Sum Guy
3/23/2016 05:44:28 pm
I'm not sure what made you do this video, but I'm glad you did. I also find it odd to say that I enjoyed it, mostly because of what the video was about, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I liked it maybe?
Just Sum Guy
3/23/2016 05:46:21 pm
BTW, since you're working your buns off, is there any hope in heck that we might finally see "Black Angus"?! Even if it were in another format, like an animated short or a graphic novel of some kind and not a film?
Mike M
3/23/2016 05:46:23 pm
Brad, thank you very much for sharing this. I've come very close to where you were, and I still have a hard time opening up about it. I admire your bravery for putting this out to the world, and wanted to say that if you ever need to publicly get things off your chest like this again, I'm willing to listen.
Smilex Lax
3/23/2016 06:28:43 pm
I was hoping this was another review for a lesser known movie you've recently seen. . . I was wrong.
Sweet Tee
3/23/2016 07:05:46 pm
Thank you for sharing this with us. I struggle with depression too. I have since high school. It's just the most draining thing. And I learned the hard way to be careful with your meds. Last year I got really sick and neglected to take my antidepressants for about a week and that threw my emotions into a tailspin. I couldn't stop crying and feeling miserable and hopeless and it took me a few days to figure out that it was because I abruptly stopped taking my meds. Won't make that mistake again.
Kate
3/23/2016 07:55:49 pm
I was at that place a few months ago. the norm of the north midnight screening helped quite a bit, actually. It was a nice distraction from having to think and feel when I couldn't sleep. Thanks for this video. It's weird how isolating depression feels, sometimes. For me, it's nice to know I'm not alone in dealing with it.
TJ
3/23/2016 08:30:54 pm
What's up with Channel Awesome and depression. There's so many who we already know about - Nash, Spoony, Brad, and of course Justin.
Bill Casey
3/23/2016 08:58:26 pm
Depression is typically worse among deep and creative thinkers. Obsessing and over-analyzing is what they do. Artists. Comedians. You're talking about people who can't turn their brains off, at least not easily...
BradTriesBrad
3/23/2016 08:33:28 pm
rock on, brad. never woulda guessed you had depression of any kind. here's to having "thecinemasnob.com " as my home page for almost 4 years now.
Louis
3/23/2016 09:24:46 pm
"I got to watch God's Not Dead". Hmm. Does that mean the next Cinema Snob video is of one of the worst films of all time, or is it in reference to the Midnight Screenings review of the upcoming and, if I may say so myself, even more atrocious sequel coming out on April 1st? If so make sure to bring Dave along. It just wouldn't be right without him.
Ben Snyder
3/23/2016 09:43:32 pm
Had some similar experiences with hospitalization. Thanks for the inspiration to overcome!
Roland
3/23/2016 10:38:10 pm
well i also suffer from Depression Brad as well, it's never gotten to the point where i actually got as far as you did though. i did see a shrink in high school but it was a guy who didn't know jack shit. i tried to tell him how i was feeling and all he'd say is now tell me what you feel. WTF? in short he wasn't listening to me at all and he brought my mom in some sessions and i just wasn't ready for her to know how i was feeling cause me & my ex GF had broken up and it was my 1st real heartbreak. it took me years to get over it because i couldn't handle it. these days cause that was in (1998)
Roland
3/23/2016 10:54:38 pm
oh i forgot to add more one more thing. with the way i feel most days. i';ve never had a serious relationship and it's not by choice either it's just the way it happened i guess you could say. anyways having said that i worry that when and if i do get lucky enough to be in one.
KillerBunny
3/23/2016 11:24:44 pm
Thanks for posting this. My life would have been a little emptier without you. Who else would ever get Tequila and Bonetti references?
angelique_sp
3/24/2016 12:27:21 am
Ummm.... well since everybody else here is posting background stories, I guess I might as well too. I've been a chronic anxiety/depression patient since I was a very little girl.... I'm now 47. I was one of those kids that couldn't handle dealing with the outside world, had no friends (books were my friends), and just never left her room. No birthday parties, no sleepovers, no play dates; days were spent drawing & reading & talking to my cat (my best friend).... basically living inside my own head. Probably my worst moment was my anxiety kept me from ever driving (so I've always understood your issues about plane travel).
mary holiday
3/26/2016 08:14:41 pm
hello this is me. well, aside from the part about owning a cat and having stomach surgery. i've been trying to be less of a hermit over the past few years, but i usually just lock myself in my room and try to keep the anxiety at bay with an endless stream of youtube videos, movies, and various creative pursuits, heh.
angelique_sp
3/27/2016 07:39:43 pm
Oh man....I'm sincerely sorry to hear that. Not the camaraderie mind you, but it's just I wouldn't wish this BS on my worst enemy (hell, not even on some of these board trolls, ha).
nowhere
3/24/2016 01:05:13 am
Wow... well I will join everyone else in admiring your courage and honesty to come out with this and you also did it in a way that I think will be helpful to those dealing with depression themselves or those trying to understand it if someone they love has it. You're description of feeling like a zombie when in the depths of depression is perfect. That's what seems hardest to get across to those without depression - you're not thinking rationally when it gets a hold on you. And, yes, it's been a problem for me too. I never got as far as a real attempt (since the method I considered using was a .303 any attempt would almost certainly have succeeded) but I have had recurrent episodes of major depression starting at 15 which have basically taken a few years out of my life. Neither therapy nor drugs ever really helped and I pretty much just held on with help from family and friends until each episode faded. I haven't had a serious episode for nearly two decades now though so maybe I've got it beat, or at least under control. The lingering effect is that I have a record of recurrent depression that was treated by a psychiatrist which has resulted in me not being able to get a Class 1 pilot's medical so I can't pursue my dream career of being a pilot. I did get the medical required to be a private pilot though so I can do that at least and have flown 1500 hours to date.
Dave
3/24/2016 01:05:52 am
Thanks for this Brad, respect for having the guts to open up like this, and I think your advice is very sound. I've been medicated for depression since I was a kid, it later turned out I have bipolar, and I too have been through the very interesting experience of being in a psychiatric ward after a suicide attempt (only we got the standard crappy hospital food, and I don't recall getting to see T2 in there - but there was a smoking area!).
Roman
3/24/2016 01:44:51 am
As you can see by the comments, you are far from alone in this. Whenever I see the statistics of depression in society I am blown away. 1 in 4-5 young people suffer from it. That is scary and baffling, I mean where does this show? This is like the best kept secret. When you're outside or in any social situation the impression that everything is perfect for everybody and that things are looking up is impeccably put on. Nobody seems sad, ever. Everybody just knows that they MUST pretend, or else. Hence the feeling that you are alone.
K
3/24/2016 03:54:21 am
Thank you for sharing your story, Brad. Your videos always help to bring my spirits up whenever I've sunk into my own depression.
mawzedd
3/24/2016 05:56:04 am
While I have never suffered from sever depression like this Brad, I understand what it feels like to be in such a dark place in your mind and how potent those feelings can be. It's good to have family and friends that were willing to help you in your time of need. Even better that you can reflect on this part of life with a little humor. I'm glad you're not going the Charlie Sheen route with Tiger Blood and Winning.
Joseph Lee
3/24/2016 07:11:18 am
As someone else who has suffered from depression for most of his life, thank you for posting this.
Nader
3/24/2016 07:25:19 am
Hi Brad,
Nader
3/25/2016 03:52:26 am
And this Video and all of your other fabulous work does really help us, too! Trust me and the others.
Debbie
3/24/2016 08:08:23 am
Thank you for posting this. It is a brave thing to be honest with the world, especially about something so personal and hard to deal with. I've had depression issues off and on for years and this is excellent advice. Your brain can lie to you better than anything or anyone. It knows all your triggers and exactly what to say when. Brains are assholes!
DJ Steffi
3/24/2016 08:37:00 am
This really inspired me to try to keep looking up and not letting depression get me down. I have contiplated killing myself many times but I have never had the "courage" or the means I suppose to do it. Thank god I never have because I realize how stupid I am after thinking those thoughts with a clearer mind a few days later. All of us with depression have to stay strong and stick together, no story is too small or insignificant and hearing about going to a mental facility for a short time doesn't really make me want to visit one. Though the meatloaf and pancakes do sound amazing.
TommyZ
3/24/2016 10:05:51 am
Brad,
Hans Schellenberg
3/24/2016 10:41:53 am
You're more inspiring to me than any Hollywood lottery winner. You brought a lot of joy to me and mine at a time when we needed it bad. You're one of the lights in the darkness.
RandyPan
3/24/2016 12:23:16 pm
Another sufferer, although, I've never reached that point.
Kathy Garrison
3/24/2016 01:03:23 pm
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle, Brad. Hugs are going out to you. As well as prayers. I'm a Christian. I pray. (Although looking so forward to your Snob video of "God's Not Dead." Best of luck there for you!)
RandyPan
3/24/2016 01:05:15 pm
Richard Pryor would be proud.
Shelly
3/24/2016 03:59:43 pm
I've been watching your videos since The Bed that Eats. I suffer from depression/anxiety and I have trouble getting out of bed some days. I don't go out much anymore. I don't have friends so I spend my time watching videos or playing games. I've considered/attempted suicide numerous times. I know how dark that place is. I always look forward to your videos each week.Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I hope things get better for you.
XDtreyxx
3/24/2016 04:18:55 pm
this actually kind of helped me today, I suffer from Manic Depression and I went to impatient treatment 6 years ago when i was 14 and first off, so sorry you had to watch Scream; we had Loony Toons on loop there so that kind of helped in the mornings. But i understand completely what you mean when you say "You're not thinking about how 'Its all going to be OK' or how people DO actually care" when you're in that state of mind. But this story really helped me today. This month has been pretty shit, but the videos you post make me laugh and help me get out of my funk.
Jay
3/24/2016 06:51:02 pm
Inb4 Batman v Superman tonight is the final trigger to make him actually do it.
RandyPan
3/24/2016 08:16:15 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBzIvr4OiEY
Steve
3/24/2016 08:17:22 pm
Hi, Brad,
Griff
3/25/2016 03:30:06 am
Brad, if you don't mind my asking what year did this take place? just curious.
Bart
3/25/2016 05:09:14 am
This is the first time I've commented on this site, so I'll keep it brief, but thank you a million, Brad, for sharing such a personal and heartfelt story with everyone. It certainly made me laugh and made my day a little better, too!
Bart
3/25/2016 05:17:26 am
And that came out kind of bad so: it's made my day a little better and in addition, made me laugh quite a few times too...
Terrence Cain
3/25/2016 06:43:15 am
Depression sucks. I've dealt with it all my life. I've come close to committing suicide more than once in my life, but over time, with some help, I've gotten way better. Talking your problems out with someone, no matter who it is, is a tremendous help. That, I think, is the biggest part of what causes depression and suicide. Not having someone to unload your problems onto. No matter how serious the problem may be, talk to someone about it. Even if it's a total stranger. And if you need meds, then go see a doctor and get the medical attention you need. Suicide IS a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Any problem can be overcome. You just have to be willing to find an alternative to ending your life, because nothing is so serious as to end your life over it.
Beatrix
3/25/2016 08:29:10 am
I felt bad for wanting to leave a long-ish comment, but then I saw how long some other ones were, and I'm sure I won't come anywhere close.
Beatrix
3/25/2016 09:06:15 am
Now that I have a better understanding of it, my bouts of depression aren't all that bad and don't last to long. When it strikes, though, I know that visiting thecinemasnob.com is sure to help.
Not Dr. Rosenberg
3/25/2016 03:28:51 pm
I hear ya! Depression is a bitch. The 20 sleeping pills I took when I was 15 or something didn't work at all, that's why I'm still here.
Trikucian
3/25/2016 07:42:05 pm
Hey Brad, thanks so much for doing this video. I've been dealing with depression my whole adult life, so I understand where you're coming from. I've also been hospitalized for depression, twice actually. I'm up in Canada, so it's a bit different, but in exchange for free healthcare, sometimes you gotta wait in an emergency room for a while, and that's a price I'm willing to pay.
Richiebcfc25
3/25/2016 11:42:16 pm
I know this must have been a very hard video to make and i too have considered suicide many times.
Mike
3/26/2016 12:09:39 am
Brad,
MetTheFeebles
3/26/2016 11:06:26 am
Thanks for posting this video - really.
Jesse
3/26/2016 03:45:06 pm
I've been there many times. My hospital and therapy experiences didn't work out so well, mainly because of my social anxiety, can't exactly go to the doctor if I can barely leave my house. I can say that people saying it gets better didn't do much good for me. It always just got worse, till sometimes I honestly believe I no longer have any emotions. What did help me a little was keeping up with things that I do enjoy, like your videos, other shows, hobbies. I was eventually able to push the depression to the back. It's still there, and I'll work on getting therapy, but for now it's like background noise. Not nearly a perfect solution, but a tiny step towards finding one.
Derangel
3/26/2016 06:59:51 pm
Brad, thank you for sharing your story. There was a lot of good advice here and I really like how you told your story. I've suffered through depression since I was a young kid. I won't go into details, but I can pretty easily identify what started it. The occurrence of my bad moods vary, but usually once very month or very couple of months (sometimes more, depending on other things going on) I get into a really bad place. What you said about how you feel at the time and what you think about is exactly how I feel. I never tried to kill myself, but I came very very very close several times. My outlets to help tend to be more media based. I'll put on a movie, watch episodes of a show, zone out to music for a while, or play some random video game. They probably aren't the best outlets, but they've always managed to work well for me. When those don't work as well, I'll turn to a lot of videos from people like you, Linkara, Doug, etc where you can make me laugh or tell some kind of story that gets my mind off of those dark thoughts for a while. A video like this is especially helpful. Hearing your story, and the way you tell it, makes me smile and feel better about my own struggles. So, I say it again, thank you Brad for sharing this story. You've made my night a lot better because of it.
enemy of freedom
3/27/2016 08:26:48 am
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have had a very similar experience with depression, hospitalization, and substance abuse. I've enjoyed your videos for many years, and got the impression that you may have struggled with some of these issues. I applaud the bravery it takes to share this kind of personal information. I've spent many years rebuilding after multiple suicide attempts, and it's hard to explain to people the journey I've been through. After years of counseling, meds, and connecting with friends and family I have learned who I am, and what I want from life. I have a good job, my own car, and a clear direction in life. Few people I work with really understand what an accomplishment all of that is. The people who think "I wanted attention" or that I brought all this on myself have no clue that I've been depressed and bipolar for my entire life, and despite this disability I can be a productive member of society. Having a sense of humor about the whole thing is the best coping mechanism, I think. You're a inspiration to me, and everyone who loves your videos!
pdracula
3/27/2016 09:16:59 pm
I can really relate to what you said about how even though you might rationally know, yes, things will get better and you have family, friends,etc... when you're there and you're really fucking depressed and thinking about doing yourself in, all that is the furthest thing from your mind. It's one of the hardest things to relate to others about depression. It's cool hearing that from someone I respect.
Taylor
3/27/2016 09:35:20 pm
Just saw this tonight and I have to say thank you Brad for sharing your story with all of us. It's amazing how I became a fan of yours after I saw your videos on tgwtg back in 2011, which was during the lowest point in my life. I was in a very dark place and your guys' videos were the among the very few things during that time that could make me laugh and kind of helped me to get over my depression. When I first found tgwtg the nostalgia critic and spoony were my favorites, but over the years Brad you became my number one go to reviewer. Even though I'm still a big fan of the nostalgia critic and many of the tgwtg members I can't help but check this site first for new cinema snob vids, midnight screenings and everything else. I dig your subtle sarcastic humor and I really enjoy hearing your thoughts and insights on movies and moviemaking. I'm so sorry that even though I've been a fan of this site for so long this is my first time ever leaving a comment, but I really wanted you to know just how much I appreciate this site and the work you do Brad. It saddens me to hear that you're going through a tough time, but I think you'll pull through it just fine. You sound like you have a great attitude and positive outlook,and even though it's cliche as hell the best you can do is take it one day at a time. In the end you'll see that everything works out for the best and will make you a stronger, better person, again sorry for the cliche but as it turns out it is actually true.To wrap this up, thank you again Brad for everything. You're a good guy and one funny son of a bitch. Remember to keep your head up and most of all keep up the great work! I'll always be looking forward to see what you do next
Frank
3/27/2016 11:04:37 pm
I read the title as Brad Tries: Suicide for a split second
Beatrix
3/28/2016 02:33:37 am
Reading these comments makes it seem like almost every person who watches these videos has fairly serious depression. While I doubt that's entirely accurate, it is nice to see that I'm not alone. At all.
5minutes
3/28/2016 02:16:39 pm
While I wish success on almost anything, I am very glad you weren't successful on this. Good on you for getting it dealt with. Keep up the good work on your medication and behavioral management.
Nick
3/30/2016 03:03:54 pm
I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and depression. Only a few months ago, I was in inpatient (for the second time) for two weeks and I never thought I would get any better. There was hope course, I put myself there in the first place, but even then, salvation was hard to grasp.
Lily Sincere
4/6/2016 03:29:57 am
Sorry for the late comment, but thank you to Brad and most especially to all the commenters willing to share their stories. As a depressed woman, it breaks my heart to see how many of my fellow sufferers have been tragically, massively underserved just because they're men. I've been living with depression longer than Brad, and maybe a lot of the commenters, have been alive and while it often sucks, it can be managed. Don't be afraid to get help, and while it's hard with a condition like depression, stick to it and seek out better treatment if you find health professionals being dismissive about your condition. Best advice? Humor, no matter how dark it can get, is your friend.
Sudoku Joe
4/10/2016 11:30:45 pm
It takes a lot of courage to be able to talk about this so publicly.
A.I.
12/12/2017 04:45:37 am
I'm going to miss this video...
italy
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