At least the Lays are wavy.
Savvy of his previous experiences, Brad was understandably cautious that these chips might be less a Passport to Flavor and more an Assport to Ferver. Unbeknownst to him, had he only tried one of the chips, this experience would have ended without incident.
But the combination created a World War 3 in his tummy. The Greek Tzatziki went belly up, as every cell in his body violently rejected the dill particles. The Brazilian Picanha left him woefully unprepared for the intestinal Olympics he was about to experience. The Indian Tikka Masala and Chinese Szechuan Chicken sparked a Chola incident in his colon.
Unable to make it to the bathroom in time, Brad lept to the nearest window, shitting a violent mess of greenish brown syrupy chunks and half digested chips onto his lawn. In a stroke of odd luck, it happened to be the window Jake Norvell has been maliciously stalking Brad from.
The excrement was so enormous, an excavator had to be employed. At no time was anyone aware that under the mountainous mound of manure lay Jake Norvell, once asshole friend turned asshole foe turned asshole drowned in a deluge of diarrhea dookie. The End?
When Morgan Freeman tells you to 'gimmie'... You fuckin GIMMIE.
The day I finally get them all, I find this video.
Great! You have all the flavors! Now you can eat along to the video! It's the "Brad tries interactive experience"!
My new ritual is to drink a Crystal Pepsi every time watching a new 'Brad Tries'. :D
BTW, the Szechuan Chicken chips are awesome and I'm eating them now. :)
Whether strange, gimmicky, foreign, or decades old... Brad tries it!