The Astro-Zombies
The Cinema Snob sits through Ted V. Mikels' "The Astro Zombies." A movie that does not feature outer space, and barely features zombies.
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Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
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Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: The Astro-Zombies
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Another zombie movie without zombies?! shit I guess this is where "Zombie 5: Killing Birds" got its inspiration.
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ya man this is such a bore movie with no zombies in it...it just like fooling someone...
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Is this the song the Misfits song was inspired by?
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One of your best so far. I think my day is going to be good now that I've heard someone say "Good work John, you've annoyed the shit out of the plastic brain." That had me laughing me arse of.
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heehee I felt really laughing dude...
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thank a lot for sharing it...
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You should let anyone who comes over and watches the whole movie put their name on the wall. At least it's just their eyes that will be burning.
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Awesome review. And I knew the agents' chief looked familiar. He was in Agent for H.A.R.M. as well, and just he was just as drunk off his ass in this movie as he was in that one. Well, I dunno' if he really is that drunk. Maybe he goes to the Dean Martin school of acting, and flunked out.
Also, I think the Igor-esque lab assistant was either the hippie buying drugs from Girl in Gold Boots, or one of the oily gangsters.
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Great eye James. I was just going to post regarding H.A.R.M
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I think your right he was one of the gansters at the club I think. Also, I think the chick in pink with the silenced pistol was the head dancer from the movie, the one with the "beatufil mind" or whatever.
Great episode!!
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Nope, the woman in pink is Tura Satana, the leader of the all-girl car gang in Russ Meyers' "Faster Pussycat! Kill, Kill!"
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WTF rip-off Omega Supreme?!
I digress... seems like what Mr. Drunkey-Pants is describing is a CYBER-zombie (ie a corpse reanimated technologically) but perhaps that concept didn't exist back then.
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best Misfits song ever
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Wow Snob I really could feel your boredom in for this movie. You truly suffer for your Pretentious Cinema Quest and truly you would go to great depths to quench your thirst. Also is it me or is this the 4th movie were John Carradine makes an appearance. I think his going out for Pierre Kirby title of the most present actor on The Cinema Snob.
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With just a touch of my burning hand
I send my astro zombies to rape the land
Prime directive, exterminate
The whole human race
And your face drops in a pile of flesh
And then your heart, heart pounds
Till it pumps in death
Prime directive, exterminate
Whatever stands left
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all i wanted to say
and all i gotta do
who'd i do this for hey me or you?
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Ha ha ha This is insane, I love it.
I tell ya Brad, you have to review Cockhammer, it is shot on shitteo at it's worst.
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the mad scientist assistant looks like fucking dave attell.
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Guy in wyoming with a shot gun, fucking wins!
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that dude in wyoming made me laugh so hard man. great job.
brad, have you ever heard of a movie called "supersonic man"?
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What? No Faster Pussycat!Kill!Kill!KILL! reference? That brunette chick is Tura Satana man, the only reason people still watch Astro Zombies till this day.
Still a great review
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Mikels is making Astro-Zombies 3, I hear.
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I'll always miss the old lighting. It made your show more atmospheric. You know... Reviewing horror movies and having dark lighting, made the reviews special. NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG, the reviews are still great, but the lighting was like a trademark.
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The drunk sounding actor is Wendell Corey. This was actually his last film. He had been an actor on stage and in film for 30 years. He starred in Hitchcock's "Rear Window" and in "The Rainmaker" with Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn. He was even president of the American Motion Picture Arts and Sciences council for a couple of years. His last years he spent doing TV appearances and starring in low budget shlock films such as "Women Of The Prehistoric Planet" and "Agent For H.A.R.M." (both films were covered by MST3K). Another case of a good actor ending his career on a bad note.
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It's very easy to see that you're using a new camera. The light in your house seems more vibrant. Also, thanks for another MST3K reference ^_^
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Great stuff! I actually love this movie! lol
He's recently completed a third installment in the AZ series, and I am the proud owner of a signed poster (addressed to me specifically, and the last one available) for the original AZ release. Huzzah!
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He's still an icky elf.
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Heehee Critter. Which of these two do you think is worse at their chosen art?
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Honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!
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Ha! Yeah, even though I have the re-release poster hanging on my wall, I hate this one. I hate all of Ted's films. He's a real nice guy but horrible filmmaker. Have you seen the doc. about when he lived in a castle with his own harem?
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Wow. I can't believe the director responsible for "Girl in Gold Boots" actually was allowed to make more films. Astro Zombies is pretty terrible. Especially when the guy was describing a zombie; sounded more like a cyborg of some sort, but hey, whatever.
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The Zombie is one hell of a drink.
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If in Soviet Russia: Movie fucks you...Then that would mean that in America/Anywhere Besides Soviet Russa: You fuck movie.
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Yeah, here's something a lot of people don't know about me: I was almost in the sequel. Seriously, I was scouted at an Alice Cooper concert back in the previous decade. They liked how tall and broad I was. Unfortunately, I was in school at the time, so I couldn't do it.
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Sure, these movies might be the perfect argument in favor of all out nuclear war, but, admit it, without them, you'd have no reason to live.
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Is it just me, or is the audio in this episode noticeably better than before?
Anyway, another great episode, Brad.
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With all the obscure stuff Brad is into, I'm very surprised that he doesn't seem to know who Tura Satana is.
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I know who she is, "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill" among others. I could make jokes about everything in the movie =)
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Si, this movie is mierda!!! Hahaha! That's just gold!
I own a copy of this movie, but haven't watched it. And thanks to the review, I don't think I will. The only thing I like is the artwork around this movie and the funky astro zombie design.
http://o-lee-a.deviantart.com/art/Astro-Zombie-likes-Comics-66538091
Greetings from Mexico!
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Wendell Corey is the guy who you pointed out as looking drunk.
He was,Astro ZOmbies was his last film,after which he died of cirrhosis of the liver,caused by his chronic alcoholism.
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When i saw the title i thought of The Misfits... Guess i'm not the only one
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I'm surprised you didn't mention the toy robot in Kentucky Fried Movie. Then again, that's intended to be ironic, unlike the other films you mentioned. Also, I must be some kind of anomaly because Girl in Gold Boots is the only Ted V. Mikels film I haven't seen.
Anyway, really like the new format. The framing is tighter and the widescreen is really flattering. The lighting is a bit harsh, but I do like it slightly better than the dinginess of previous videos at the new place. At the old place, the lighting complemented the setting and actually lent to the credibility (in short, I loved it). In a house like that, however, dim lighting just doesn't work, so I'm glad for the change.
Keep up the good work, dude.
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what godfrey ho movie is that from?
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Brad I think the cheapo toy robot opener is supposed to be a sign that the movie is "campy" or a "spoof" (two things that were "in" in the late `60s) but it just falls flat on it's ass - this picture is no "Skidoo" (another gawdawful late 1960s movie ripe for a ripping by the Cinema Snob.)
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Mmm....Tura Satana!!!
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If you look in the credits shot "Written By" at 5:33, you'll see this flick was co-written by none other than Wayne Rogers (aka Trapper John from "MASH" the TV series).
I find it kind of disappointing that MST3K didn't do this flick on the show. Sure, "Girl in Gold Boots" was funny, but as bad as that was, that's probably Mikels' most well-made film. Compared to this or "Corpse Grinders," it's practically a masterpiece.
"See John Carradine die inside." How very true. For every "Grapes of Wrath" type of flick Carradine has on his resume, there's at least ten "Frankenstein Islands" or "Red Zone Cubas" or this flick.
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Is this 1969? Looks like it was fifties in colour! Yeah, this is crap. Thanx man!
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Check out the hairstyle on the woman at 11:13 of the review; there's no way this isn't a late-`60s flick. Yes, the guys look 1950s (but then everybody but hippies looked somewhat 1958 in the late 1960s) unless you notice their shirt collars and tie styles; tight collars and narrow ties were in until Nixon was in office. And these guys are cops, so you know they have to be conservative dressers!
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Well, I was thinking more about the stupid 50s-like movie script, not the fashion; it`s possible, that this stupid script was written 10 years ago before the movie was shot!
As for the fashion etc... Sometimes I think I can estimate whcich decade movie is placed in at first glance, but then again, in "Arizona Dream" movie, which is OBVIOUSLY placed in 90s, I`ve seen -for example- three girls in a cinema, that looked just as they were taken from early 50s!!! Most of the stuff, equipement and architecture looked like they were taken from the waaaaay pass decades, too (and, frankly, it was the only aspect of the whole movie that I liked!).
Or.. maybe it was just Arizona, I don`t know
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Too bad Ted Mikels and Ray Dennis Steckler didn't join forces to produce the joint sequel "The Thrill Killers meet the Corpse Grinders"...
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Holy crap! The drunk guy is the boss from Agent for H.A.R.M.!
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Ted's currently making Astro-Zombies 3. Be afraid.
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Speaking of the Gold Boots and the Girl who wore them, I recently watched that film and got a horrible idea: a Girl in Gold Boots fan fiction about Critter Jones dodging the draft and running from the government. I thoguht this simply because I know no one else has made a fan fiction of that film.
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I don't think the snob has heard of The Misfits, we know from the Mothers Day review that he prefers disco to punk.
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your article is so informative and interesting. nice shared.
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The Astro Zombie is a man in a rubber mask. The Male leads try to keep a straight face while spouting ridiculous dialogue. Tura Satana wears exotic outfits, makeup and eyelashes which gives the movie some camp appeal. You'll have a hard time figuring out the plot. It's shocking to see the depths Wendell Corey had descended to but he was probably too sozzled to care. The women scream a lot especially when the Astro Zombie tries to rip their clothes off. John Carradine bumbles around in his laboratory endlessly....
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That "Gone with the Wind" thing is too funny. I am having trouble watching the rest of the review. It's a combination of the premise and the delivery. The idea that a film THAT BAD could have Gone With the Wind related to it is enough to crack someone up, but I'm pissing my pants at how you said it. I actually had to check the website just to see it for myself. That's just too funny. I'm honestly having trouble typing. This is definitely the funniest thing I've seen on this website so far. And to be honest, I was cracking up at just every line you said. It's all about delivery, and here is some of the best comedic delivery I've seen in a long time. Not since, probably AVGN have I laughed at just the way someone said things. The Wyoming bit was also cracking me up.
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Very interesting and informative article indeed. I have to admit that I always follow your website because it is full of various information about everything. Well, it was quite interesting to read this your entry about the Astro zombies . Actually, I am very interested in this sphere and reading this post I have known many new things, which I have not known before. Thanks for publishing this great article here, without you I would never known about such a thing ever.
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I've just recently started watching the Cinema Snob, but I'm loving these videos. I'm specifically commenting because I play a game called Kingdom of Loathing, and all of the alcoholic drinks in the game are based on real-world drinks. Until this video, I didn't know what the zmobie (and its real-world equivalent, the Zombie) drink was made of
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http://www.gutecasinocodes.com
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The Godfrey Ho movie with Omega Supreme is "Golden Ninja Warrior". (I managed to figure this out through Wikipedia.)
There is a clip on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cCpeDuQdVA
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Wow. I cannot believe people make shit like this. I am so sorry you have to endure the pain of watching this awful garbage.
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Zombie drink:
1oz Light Rum
1/2oz Amaretto
1/2oz Tripple Sec
Fill with equal parts Sweet and Sour mix and OJ
Float 1/2oz Bicardi 151
:3 Bartending school finally pays off for something... at least, that's the variation I know of the drink. Sure to be a night-ender.
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I don't like movie about zombie. Even if it was free I wouldn't go. I like more intellectual films about human psichology. For such films I'm ready to get online loans to buy good DVD.
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very nice post.I think it is not easy to say that.thanks
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A zombie movie which does not have zombes...lol lol
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I have to find this on video or dvd! This review had me laughing! When you talked about everyone being in the backyard and the guy in Wyoming being able to shot someone all the way in Hollywood too, damn funny! Take care!
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Tura Satana is the best part of this film, the perfect villainess. Mean,sexy and kicks ass!
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Great site. This could probably have the refactoring tag added t it
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Great site. This could probably have the refactoring tag added t it.
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AHHH. What didn't I go as an astro-zombie for Halloween ?????
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Oh, my bad movie buddy and I had fun with this one. And not just from trying to figure out just how much booze Wendell Corey had ingested before any given take. There was also the low-rent Ann-Margret ingenue and John Carradine's goofy sidekick Frencho/Rancho/Whatever, about whom I previously wrote, "He was not played by Sid Haig, but an amazing simulation. Actually, I’m convinced he was really Mr. Creosote before he put on all that weight."
Plus Tura Satana. How can you not like her?
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Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What host are you using? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol
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Toy robots belong in Sins of the Fleashapods
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Hey Brad. Just watched a little flick called Blood Bath. Directed by one Jack Hill, who made the famous Coffy and Foxy Brown. While it doesn't have blood, it does have a bath!
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now I havn't heard wayne rogers name in a long time, are you sure its the same one from mash or perhaps a different guy
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So The Cinema Snobs Zombie Drink is
1 part lime juice
1 part light rum
1 part dark rum
1 1/2 part apricot brandy
1 part orange juice
1 part pineapple juice
1 part Bacardi
Any Idea if that would be any good?
Also I love this Review. XD
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