Troll
The Cinema Snob, hours before reaching a 103 degree fever, suffers through "Troll." Coincidence?
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Shaun Millington
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Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
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Varied Celluloid
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The Cinema Snob: Troll
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A great review as always. A speedy recovery to you and thank you for this even in your delirious state.
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This movie and Friday the 13th, Part V I think there are your most mainstream but this one I think it holds the place for the one with the biggest budget. Seriously the effects looks pretty good to bad the story sucks. Get well man and reviews us some more underground Z-grade cinema.
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What a great competition to hold. Thanks for keeping us up to date. I just went through some of your previous posts and now following you on Twitter and FB Fan Page. Keep up the great work.Thanks
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Can't wait for troll 2!
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Michael Moriarty throwing down to Blue Cheer...
That's something I didn't really need to see tonight.
Still, another great video Brad. Get well soon.
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in Wikipedia: "As of June 18, 2009, John Carl Buechler (director) has filed a lawsuit against J.K. Rowling, claiming that she stole the idea for her famous series from Troll."
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I saw this one on video in the `80s, totally forgot Elane from "Seinfeld" was in it (though she was also in another `80s clunker, "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.") There were too many Gremlins knock-offs: Hobgoblins, Troll, Critters, Ghoulies, the Puppet Master series (sorta)... enough with the crappy muppets! I agree with the Snob; if you're going to have small monster creatures in a horror movie, make them terrifying.
Get better Brad.
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The trolls remind me of Grendel from the recent Beowulf movie.
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Troll fucking rules man,a video classic
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I have Troll on VHS along with Part II. Michael Moriarty was much cooler in The Stuff than in this, but The Stuff is also a much better movie than this.
Phil Fondacaro was more fun in Ghoulies II imo.
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I agree, when I saw that Michael Moriarty was in 'Troll', I felt relieved that he went on to do something much better with 'The Stuff'.
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Guess we couldn't expect more from a movie starring Michael Moriarty... gawd-damn retard face, I had a hard time taking him seriously in Larry Cohen's THE STUFF and Q.
And, YES, please Brad review Joe D'Amato's TROLL II!
Greetings from your "friend" from Italy. Get better soon!
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Claudio Fragasso directed TROLL II. D'Amato probably woulda made it more porn filled.
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That was fun. And if you aren't well yet, then... get well soon, Bradley. Get well soon.
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Phil Fondacaro looks like John Holmes.
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This movie is one of my earliest childhood memories.No wonder i'm so fucked up.
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I can't believe The Snob referenced It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
Also, J.K. Rowling is a fraud.
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Just be careful with Troll 2, If this made you sick I can't imagine what that will do to you. Get well soon
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Going to go for the long haul and cover troll 3 as well?
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I won a ten dollar bet that Sonnny Bono was in the film a long time ago.
Own this on VHS.
The father needs to Return to Salems Lot.
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evil bastard! hahaha, im in the middle of editing my troll 2 review and then this comes up and ur doing it also. *shakes fist in fury*
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Damn you! Now I want to see this
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it is grate to see brad working the 80s cheese hopefully he will do demonic toys or even better demonic toys vs puppet master christmas is coming
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You should become violently ill more often. It helps your reviews.
This is my favorite Harry Potter film.
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Loved the review. Was wondering if you could review the movie Trick Or Treat starring Marc Price. I love that movie and would love to see The Cinema Snob take a few jabs at it. Thanks and get well soon.
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I agree that would be awesome. I even have a dvd copy I could donate.
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Man, I've trying to get you to review troll2 since early youtube days. haha. I'm stoked.
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Oh, the pain. Also, nice "It's Always Sunny" reference.
I wonder how many people got the Turok reference.
You get better soon, Brad!
~Michael
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You don't have to review Troll 2 if you don't want to. Phelous already did that one, and after only that I think I've seen enough of it to hate it.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Looking forward to the "Troll 2"-Review. But first get well soon, Snob!
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Awesome, looking forward to part 2
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Oh man I remember this garbage! LOL! Funny review Brad, but sitting through the entire film is the equivalent of sitting in a port-o potty that has been used at a construction site for two weeks. Get better man.
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The Blue Cheer scene is truly horrific (ha and you showed THREE clips of it....). Michael Moriarty's character is even creepier and more nonsensical in "It's Alive 3."
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Save yourself the pain Brad! Don't do Troll 2! Do Munchies instead! Or Lady Dragon 2!
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I reviewed it: http://freewebs.com/mhtroll
I loved your review. I'd even say it was one of your better ones. Troll always bugged me because I always dug the SFX. Troll 2 is worse, but I enjoy it more.
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I Saw The Glen Beck Joke Coming But Damn Was It Funny
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Great. I can never listen to Blue Cheer again without thinking of Michael Moriarty gyrating like a spaz.
As for 'Troll 2', I've seen clips of it and it looks like something right up your alley.
"They're eating her!
Then they're going to eat me!
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!"
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"Nilbog is Goblin spelled BACKWARDS!"
(the creepy kid's chilling revelation 70 minutes into the film)
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God bless you, Cinema snob! I knew you would get around to reviewing "Troll 2" eventually. Oh man, I cannot wait!!
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Your recovering from a fever.
And then your going to review Troll 2!
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!
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Very nice review, very funny. BUT YES YES YES YES YES! REVIEW TROLL 2
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Awesome! Finally doing some bad movies I actually have (and love). Any B- Movie Fan actually probably has this one (can get it and Troll 2 [a double feature DVD] at walmart for like 5 bucks... at least you used to be able to).
Few things to note:
This movie is so bad its funny
There are scenes that drag.... and drag... that is no lie and its made worse by the fact that they dont build tension at all- it just starts. You know what it looks like and how evil it is from the beginning (it takes the little girl!).
Sonny Bono is so horrible its pretty funny in this movie (can be said for most the cast).
The little girl is annoying but we can use the excuse shes actually a troll so... shes like most bratty children! YAY!
This movie was a horror "comedy" and parodies (often badly) better movies ALOT.
Lastly, I saw this movie when i was a kid and it scared the living crap out of me. As a kid, though, you dont pay attention to the boring stuff, just the insane morphing into a cocoon and weird shit popping out of your chest that is now a pod AAAHHHH!!!
Ya as an adult this movie is bad. But its definitely one of those so bad its funny in my book. One of my all time B favorites. Troll 2, on the other hand, is just plain BAD.
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Phelous did it.
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Yes because Phelous is the only person to have ever comedically reviewed "Troll 2."
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God, first Pual Naschy dies, then this review pops up to remind me what a total shit sandwich Troll is. Dec. 1st sucks.
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And I'm so pissed I can't even spell Paul right, damn!
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Actually,the Hiroshima thing.I think I can explain that.
She is comparing the troll's killing to Hiroshima and trying to point out that it doesn't matter what time it is.
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I remember this movie from my "free cable schlock film" days. Wow, it was as bad as I remembered it. Troll II awaits! get better Brad so we can all suffer together (with laughter on our part).
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I think this may be one of the funniest Snob reviews yet.
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I always heard this was never actually a bad movie, it looks near-surreal atually because of how stupid it is. At least it has trolls in it.
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Bad news: Paul Naschy passed away at the age of 75.
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Thanks! This review really makes me feel nostalgia, because this movie is sort of a personal childhood classic for me. When i brought home my first A in a mathematics test in elementary school, my mother wanted to celebrate that by letting me chose a present for myself, which was big, because my parents didn't have much money and i didn't get presents often. We went to a supermarket and i chose the "Troll" VHS tape because i liked the box cover. My mother was concerned because she thought i was too young for that movie, but i begged her till she bought it for me. I was not used to watching anything remotely horror movie like, so this one had a profound effect on me. As lame as it was, it was my first horror movie and it was the only VHS tape i ever bought, so the thing was something like a treasure to me and i watched it again and again with friends from school.
I know, i know, nobody gives a s*** about my story, but i just wanted to take the chance to talk about how even the worst movies can somehow become personal classics that cause strong feelings of nostalgia every time you think of them.
I think if i would see it again, now that i'm an adult, i would be aware of how bad it is, but would still enjoy it for the memories that are attached to it.
PS: I didn't even know that the role of the hot chick was played by Julia Lewis Dreyfuss till i saw this review. Another reason to say thanks.
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Haha, great review, haven't seen this film, but I've seen Troll 2 and it's...a classic I suppose. Would LOVE to see a review of that one. Also, Elaine Benes? Haha, a snob-joke that I actually got. As far as the Turok-reference goes, I think most, if not all, got that one. Anyways, get well soon and keep up the good work.
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did you just make a joke about spacehunter? i saw that film when i was 5, spent 20 years trying to figure out what it was called, eventually someone from the spoony experiment helped me identify it 2 months ago and i finally watched it for the first time in 20 years...
i loved it, it has been my favourite sci-fi ever (probably nostalgic reasons) and you put it down! just for that i am going to boycott your site!! FOR A WHOLE DAY!!! that'll teach you!
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i'm excited you're reviewing Troll 2...but then again i feel bad because........you're reviewing Troll 2.
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It occured to me that Troll 2 seems like something a cinema snob would defend to me in a video store
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Ahh Troll 2, one of the great underrated sequels of the last 30 years. In my humble opinion it is far better than The Godfather Part 2 or Empire Strikes Back in the areas of style, substance, plot, acting, effects, writing and directing. Thats the kind of movie that should have swept the Oscars for that year but of course the Academy doesn't know a great movie if it bit them in the ass.
Of course by now if you have managed to read this far into this comment and totally believed everything I said above you are one certifiable douchbag of a dumbass. I HATE Troll 2. For a better film, get Jaws: The Revenge.
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Hulu has both Troll and Troll 2 up on their site, God bless them.
The little ratburger brat reminds me of the evil little girl ghost from the made for tv movie "Don't Go to Sleep" starring Dennis Weaver. Now that was horror done right.
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I think this is the first Cinema Snob review that tackled a somewhat mainstream movie, let alone the first review for a movie I've actually seen. Yeah I know you did the review on The Stewardesses but that movie quickly faded into obscurity. Troll still gets played on TV from time to time, really scary thought! Plus Troll 2 has gone on to become a bad movie cult classic.
I remember as a kid seeing Troll at my local video store. I knew that the movie was going to be some retarded scary movie for kids judging by the box cover. I mean come on, did anyone think that a goofy looking troll holding a multi colored bouncing ball, screamed terrifying horror gorefest?
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I cant wait to see you review troll2! maybe someday youll review Chud2! another abomination to film
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Actually, Dude there's still controversy between "Troll" and "Harry Potter". I'm not exactly sure if this movie influences J.K. Rowling.
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Wow what a treat! I don't even have to close my eyes to imagine that this movie's classy and British!
I actually own this film on DVD. I wathced it last Christmas time, but I can't remember anything about it...
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Urgh, I remember this movie from my childhood... and Munchies as well!! Watching this movie again makes me hate it even more. Decent effects, though; just wish the plant life was the enemy in this movie instead of a troll. Love the Harry Potter connection and that opening was VERY fitting for this flick!
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Troll Touch is the acknowledged leader in touchscreen technology for Apple hardware. We have been touch enabling Macintosh all-in-one desktops, laptops and displays since 1987.i'm excited you're reviewing Troll 2...but then again i feel bad because........you're reviewing Troll 2.
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I really love the graphic effects of this flick. Great work on the production.
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This Troll almost looks related to a certain evil Leaprichaun.
Aren't trolls supposed to be gigantic club-weilding long-nosed green humanoids that can only be killed with fire or acid & will eat absolutely anything?
Harry Potter has the exact same begining plot & main character setup as an old Disney Halloween movie & a not so old Disney animated series that both featured schools of witchcraft. There's simply no such thing as originality. Literally everything has been done before.
Can someone tell me why I keep expecting David Bowie to pop out of the bushes & start singing?
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Yet another thing I should thank Spoony for one day; exposing me to Brad's work. He's a ******* genius, man, I've been watching his stuff since Spoony's commentary on Robowar brought him up, and I just can't get enough. And he's the only guy I know of who has several shows, that are ALL awesome. The Bog Box, Kung Tai Ted, The Bruno Mattei Show; perfect stuff
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Great review, haven't seen this film, but I've seen Troll 2 and it's...a classic I suppose. Would LOVE to see a review of that one. Also, Elaine Benes? Haha, a snob-joke that I actually got. As far as the Turok-reference goes, I think most, if not all, got that one. Anyways, get well soon and keep up the good work.
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I remember watching this movie on a bet. I've always stated that (Save for Merlin) all sci-fi channel original movies could easily fall into the list of worst movies ever, and he said "Well, it looks like they're playing Troll tonight... I bet you $100 bucks its worse than any of the sci-fi Original movies. I'll also bet you a few rounds of your favourite rum you can't sit through the whole thing." I was out $100, but hey, at least I got some sweet, sweet rum to dull the pain because I managed to sit through the whole thing.
Kinda saddens me to here J.K. Rowling took ANY sort of inspiration from this garbage, I really like her and I'll admit I did love the Harry Potter books. I can't fathom the people that go around dressed as wizards waiting at every film or book release, but I did like the books themselves.
They're also remaking this, Mothers Day, and I Spit on your Grave. Hollywood is so desperate to remake movies they've even delved into the very bottom of the barrel.
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Well I like TROLL, and yes I believe J.K. Rowling was inspired by this film.
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Trolls (aka trollkind) average seven feet in height and two hundred pounds in weight and save for two tribes and the Drakkari and the Zandalari and who tend to be somewhat larger than their kindred. As with other races and there are also scattered trolls who far exceed the normal size range...........
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Man, that Turok reference is probably one of the funniest parts in the whole series! I love references to stuff that I like, such as Kubrick or video games.
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Great review. BTW, I guess you were curious about the second poster on a boy`s wall (not that 3D one)? Well I did recognised it: it`s THE DUNGEONMASTER aka RAGEWAR (1984):
http://www.impawards.com/1985/dungeonmaster.html
(the poster*). The movie was directed by 7 different directors and it`s painfully bad. No wonder it was advertised here!
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Trolls (aka trollkind) average seven feet in height and two hundred pounds in weight and save for two tribes and the Drakkari and the Zandalari and who tend to be somewhat larger than their kindred. As with other races and there are also scattered trolls who far exceed the normal size range..............
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Treat starring Marc Price. I love that movie and would love to see The Cinema Snob take a few jabs at it. Thanks and get well soon.
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The term troll is subjective. There are many characteristics of a troll. The retarded people of course don't want to hear how corrupt the society is getting, so they claim to not "feed the trolls" by ignoring them.
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This movie and Friday the 13th, Part V I think there are your most mainstream but this one I think it holds the place for the one with the biggest budget. Seriously the effects looks pretty good to bad the story sucks. Get well man and reviews us some more underground Z-grade cinema. Samsung PN50C7000 Samsung UN46C7000 Samsung UN55C7000 Samsung LN55C650 Samsung LN46C650
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So there magical creatures running around and the protagonist's name is Harry Potter. So what? It's not like this Harry Potter had to travel into a secret lair to confront a giant snake called a basilisk with a magic sword to protect his best friend's sister who had been placed under a spell by an evil wizard. He just traveled into a secret forest to confront a giant...troll-thing, with a magic spear to rescue his own sister who had been placed under a spell by and evil troll. Wait a minuet...this shit's getting a little too real...
Christ in Heaven I'm a nerd.
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I want to look that video in sidebar very much. Troll is terrable.
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